Saturday, November 19, 2005

What Were the Odds?

Yesterday, my father was driving in our shiny new car and he got struck by a pedestrian. Honestly. He told me this after I had spent two and a half hours trying to get home from work and somehow it both surprised me and didn't surprise me at the same time. I don't recall if he told me where it happened, but basically some guy was getting his car ticketed across the street and in his mad dash to stop the cop he ran into our driver side mirror and cracked it. The guy stopped at first, but that was mainly because the mirror had physically stopped him. Then he was about to keep running to his car when my dad stopped him and showed him the damage. "Oh, your insurance will cover that," he said. WHAT?? Oh, but that's not even the most infuriating part. The most infuriating part was how much it's going to cost to fix the mirror. Even now, I can't bring myself to repeat the number, it's just too ludicrous.

Today I experienced a new level of frustration as I attempted to get Coldplay tickets yet again. I can't believe that I can say that it was much easier to get eight U2 tickets than it was to get a pair of Coldplay tickets. But, after multiple website crashes and a split second of hesitation, I was finally victorious. Now we play the waiting game...

"...aw, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos."

"The sign that I couldn't read, or the light that I couldn't see"

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

What's Important

After a couple of months, my brother has decided to quit his job as an apprentice at a nameless dealership. There are many things I could say about this place, most of which would probably reveal glaring and blatant violations of general labour laws, but I will refrain. I think most people tend to follow this simple guideline: If your place of work is a hazard to your health, you should find another place of work. My brother has been quite unlucky in his recent choices of employers.

Before his untimely descent into unemployment, he was asked to clean up some of the cars that had been returned after the lease had expired. (Why, you might ask, would he be asked to do this? Because the guy who was supposed to do it was fired and had yet to be replaced) This is where he (and I) discovered what people view as being important. First of all, one of the cars experienced some kind of catastrophic snack disaster, where it appeared that an entire bag of potato chips self-destructed. Under the seat, no less. Actually, he was able to find a good portion of the chips UNDER THE FLOOR MAT. People, I don't know if you value your automobile, even ones that you lease, but for pete's sake, that's just gross.

What else did my brother find in these newly abandoned cars? Loose change was a popular one, not just on the floor but also in the storage compartments in plain sight. He claimed it as his gratuity. But that's not very original. Well, how about a bunch of baby photos? Once again, shoved under the seat. I can understand if, like any parent, they had taken a gazillion photos of the kid and losing one or two shots would probably not be so terrible. But what were they doing wedged under the seat?? My brother didn't comment on the appearance of the child. (Hey, there could be good reasons for these things)

Here's the best one: a woman's wallet. Complete with credit cards, the car's license and registration, and $4 worth of Canadian Tire money. He found it...you guessed it...as he was trying to vacuum under the seat and had to stop because something was blocking the hose. I can't recall if the owner returned to the dealership to claim the wallet, but my brother turned it in anyway...after claiming a $4 finder's fee.

So, next time you have to return something, or leave a location, what should you do?

Lesson of the Day: Keep a close eye on your potato chips; you never know when one of those suckers could go off.

"It's a shame we have to die, my dear, no one's getting out of here alive this time"