Baited and Switched

As I mentioned a little while back, I was convinced to change my job. It wasn't anything I was looking to do, it just happened. Well, shortly afterwards, we were told that the company was going to experience an organizational overhaul. I know that sounds just like "restructure", but in this case people weren't going to be fired. In fact, it looks like we need to hire more people. We're going to implement "lean" principles like they do in the auto industry. The company will be split into three groups, and each group will focus on a similar set of products. So the idea is to make the company more efficient, which is good. But it means that my little band is going to be split up, which is not so good. Oh, but on other hand, I'm being taken out of QA (where I had been transferred) and in the new year I'm coming back to Validation, but with some bonus features. I will be the proud new owner of the title "Process Engineer". After a small panic attack, I found that I was a tiny bit sad that I was going to be leaving QA so soon. I had just gotten really used to the idea. Then, after I kept thinking about it some more, I realized that this was possibly the best thing that's ever happened to me in my career. It's what I've wanted since I graduated: a chance to be in control of a process from beginning to end. It's almost unbelievable.

So, I'm not really peeved about getting the bait and switch. As always, it all works out in the end. But I've never had so many title changes in six months. And I don't know what I'm going to do with yet another box of business cards.

"You change your mind like a girl changes clothes"

Victory at the Tower

I'm pretty happy with my performance this year climbing the CN Tower for the United Way. Actually, I'm quite pleased with how the whole thing went down, for these reasons:

• It was raining, but it wasn't too cold. This was good because we had to walk outside for about 10 minutes just to get to the base of the tower.
• My youngest brother agreed to do it with me. Although, by that I mean he agreed to be there at the same time, because...
• My brother finished climbing in about half the time that I took. But I'm okay with that because...
• I shaved about 7 minutes off of my time from last year. This is the second year in a row that I went into it with absolutely zero preparation. Not to mention...
• I didn't feel like throwing up when I reached the top. I was sweaty and a little out of breath, but my strategy of stopping for about a minute after every 8 flights was really helpful.
• We went out for breakfast at Fran's afterwards. So tasty...
• And finally, I exceeded my fundraising goal by $10. Sweet! And thanks to everyone who sponsored me!

Something tells me that if I had done any kind of prep, I could have finished it in half an hour. My goal for next year.

"Rushing and racing and running in circles, moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose"

White All-Nighter

Nuit Blanche has become an event I really look forward to every year. A whole night of walking around downtown, experiencing conceptual art that can be beautiful, staggering, or really weird. This year, I vowed that I would finally make it all the way until dawn. My friend and I would travel the zones, take in as much art as we dared, and then end the night at Fran's for breakfast before heading home.

Everything would have worked out, had it not been for other forces at work. First of all, I was planning on adjusting my sleeping patterns, so I was going to stay up really late on Friday night and sleep in on Saturday. However, I had to get up in the morning to go with my family to the cemetary and out for lunch. So I should have retracted my idea of staying up late and instead I should have gone to bed early in order to be as well rested as possible. Yeah, that would have been a good plan. Next, I decided that since I was going to be downtown anyway, I should also check out the Condo Show. That meant adding an extra 3-4 hours of walking to my day/night. Maybe I should have thought of that too.

The art this year was a little less eclectic than in previous years, but there were still some damn cool and really bizarre pieces. Stereoscope was one of my faves - a light box in every single window of City Hall turned it into pixelated screen. It could also be your personal Tetris game if you called a number on your cell phone. Another favourite was A Dream of Pastures, where a person pedalling a stationary bike could turn into a jockey on a horse. Super cool. On the flip side, one of the most bizarre installations was I Promise It Will Always Be This Way. A large group of people dressed as high school mascots dancing around in Lamport Stadium all night. However, as the night went on, the music was supposed to become slower and slower, mirroring the energy of the mascots, and they would eventually stop dancing and do other things, like getting a snack or taking a nap. All I could say to that was "Wha...??"

In the end, the mind was willing, but the body was not. I was in agony by 6:00, and since the subway was going to stop at 7:00, we decided that neither of us were hungry and we took the subway as far as we could, and took the bus back to our side of town. I ended up walking through my front door at 7, which was my best showing so far.

Until next year, bonne nuit.

"Cause we've only got one night, double your pleasure, double your fun"

Invisible Food Fight

I've had the strangest day involving my poor car. First, I stepped out of my house this morning to find that my car's windshield had been egged. There were eggshell bits all over the place, and given that they were stuck onto the glass, and there was a dried splatter pattern across the surface, it would seem that it happened at least a few hours ago. I picked off as much as I could, but since there were eggshell bits stuck all over the windshield wiper, I didn't want to use the wipers for fear of smearing and scratching. The other mystery was that I couldn't find any evidence of the yolk. There were two possibilities: something came along and ate it during the night, or it ran down the front and under the hood. There was no time to investigate (or to do anything about it even if I found it), so I drove to work a little steamed.

After work, I went straight to a gas station, where I squeegeed as much as I could and picked off the teeny bits of eggshell. I also forgot to look for the yolk, but I figure it's too late now anyway. I made two stops, one at a supermarket and one at a drugstore, before I went home. I parked the car, got out, and found something stuck to my car. On the side, in front of the door, and coincidentally very close to the windshield, there was some kind of food splatter. It looked like some kind of cheese product and diced red peppers, as if someone had thrown a pizza against the car. And I thought to myself, "WHAT THE HELL??" Within an hour of me cleaning off the egg bits, I now had to wipe off the supposed pizza bits off the car too. What could possibly be the odds of something like this happening? Is someone following me with food? Does my car look like it needs to be pelted with produce?

I am so peeved right now.

"You say you don't know, you tell me don't lie, you work at a smile and you go for a ride"

Catching Up

As promised, this will be a mini catch-up blog to cover the little tidbits that I didn't have a chance to talk about in the 3 months that I was off doing whatever. I thought I'd have time in July, but I was sailing every other evening. Then I thought August would be more convenient, but then my parents went off on their cruise. And when the Olympics started, forget it. I was glued to the TV at all hours. Then September started, and I had the film fest occupying my time. So here are a few things I wanted to share with you:

Scenes from the Side of the Road

I mentioned in my film fest blog that I was late for the recruiting session for reasons beyond my control. Well, everything was going just fine that day. After work, I was driving towards downtown, but I heard a strange, repetitive sound coming from my car. I couldn't quite figure out where it was coming from. Like an idiot, I ignored it, and sure enough, just as I was about to transfer from one highway to another.... Luckily, I was already in the left lane, so I pulled straight into the left shoulder. My suspicion was confirmed - the rear passenger side tire was dead. Not just flat, but exploded. What's a girl to do? Call her daddy. What floored me was that when I asked him if I should wave off any tow trucks and tell them that I'm waiting for the CAA, he realized, "Oh yeah, I should renew my membership." Twenty minutes of waiting on the side of a highway during rush hour in the middle of a hot summer day was a little nerve wracking and sweaty. One older gentlemen slowed to ask if I needed help, which was nice. Another guy was waving frantically at my car from the right lane, pulled his car over, but then decided to keep going. Curious, I waited for a gap in the traffic to see if my car had suddenly experience some other kind of calamity, like it had burst into flames and I just didn't see it from my angle. Nope, tire was still busted.

My father eventually showed up, then called CAA. But...I was late to the recruiting session, so the best daddy in the world stood by the side of the road as I took off in the car he came in. I learned later that the comedy of errors continued as the tow truck guy got lost trying to find our car. Then there was no choice but for him to change the tire on the side of the road, with my father waving cars away from the shoulder. For some reason, a taxi thought he was trying to hail him. As for me, the tire episode resulted in me missing out on some good volunteer shifts, as well as being late to meet some friends for dinner by almost an hour. But they all forgave me once I told my tale.

Chinese Charms

As everyone knows, the chinese zodiac consists of twelve animals, one animal every year. What you may not know is that, based on your own animal and the animal of the current year, there are certain animal charms that you should carry during the year to bring luck. In my case, I'm supposed to carry a horse, a monkey, and a pig. For some strange reason, my mother decided I should carry them this year. The last time I did it, I was hired for my first job after university. This year, not long after I started carrying the charms in my purse, I was offered a new position at work. It's not a promotion, but it's definitely a chance to try something new and add another line to my resumé. I have to admit, it took me a while to make up my mind. I had no desire to leave my department, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to try. Plus, I wasn't going to turn my back on ancient chinese secrets...

One Step Closer to Piracy

Learning how to sail was the main highlight of the summer. I took an adult class on Tuesday and Thursday evening through the month of July, along with one full day on a Saturday. We learned in a two-person dinghy called a 420. We were taught how to rig the boat, as well as the basic physics of sailing. My geekiness came to the surface at that point, remembering vectors and forces and fluid dynamics. Unfortunately, most nights we were left bobbing around on the lake on perfectly calm evenings, or else scrambling to get back to the dock before the thunderstorm reached us. I capsized three times, twice on purpose. The one time I didn't mean to was during the Saturday lesson. There was a very slight breeze, so we got out into the lake, but then it died, and then it rained, and then the breezed picked up. REALLY picked up. At that moment, I was in the forward section, handling the jib, while my partner, a really nice German lady, was steering. We both freaked out a little when the boat started to take off. Trouble really started when she turned a bit to quickly, and the boat started to tilt. Then she dropped the tiller, and we started to turn around in circles. Then she over-compensated, and we started to turn in the opposite direction. I spent my time throwing my body from left to right, trying to counterbalance the boat so it wouldn't tip over. And, naturally, just before the whole thing started, I was trying to tie my water bottle to one of the lines so I wouldn't lose it. Finally, the wind won, and the boat went sideways. A lot of things happened really fast at this point: in my head, the only thing I wanted to save was my water bottle and our lunches. Plus, I was still hanging on to the side of the boat that was now up in the air. So I jumped into the water, really quickly asked my partner if she was okay, swam like mad around to the centreboard (the board that goes through the bottom of the boat to stabilize it), waited for my partner, counted to three, then we both pushed down hard on the centreboard, and the boat popped back upright. This whole time, I was still holding on to my water bottle, so I pitched it in the boat, swam to the aft, got my partner to shove me in, and then pulled her in too. Strangely enough, everything that was in the boat was still there. One of the instructors came up to us laughing, saying that he saw the whole thing, and my partner had jumped into the water before the boat had totally capsized. On the other hand, he was impressed that we got the boat upright again so quickly. I told him I was highly motivated.

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me"

The Stars Only Come Out At Night

This is really quite shameful, I have to admit. Three months since I've last blogged?? Crazy. And it's not as though things were uneventful. I guess since the opposite was true, it led to me being unable to blog consistently. So...what to do? Well, I'm going to post the latest happenings first, and then back it up a bit to catch up on things I think are worth sharing.

Another ten days of frantic film festing have come and gone. This year was different from the previous two. Since I couldn't make it to the first two volunteer recruiting sessions, and circumstances beyond my control resulted in my being a little late to the third (details in the following blog), my choices of shifts became really limited. So I decided to take a couple of shifts at the Ryerson, as well as some REALLY early morning and mid-morning/early-aft shifts at the new box office. This meant using up some valuable vacation days. But hey, if I have them, I might as well use them. I ended up living a sort of double life: one where I was always smiley and looking for people who were in need of help, and the other where I was at my desk, doing the usual validation stuff. It really was kind of challenging, switching gears every few days. But the best part was being downtown for almost a week, walking around the concrete jungle. If I didn't establish myself as a city girl before, I have now. My geekiest moment? Becoming giddy when I was finally able to cross the intersection diagonally during the "Scramble". I know, it's sad.

Okay, down to the business of films. I was able to catch 6.5 films this year. The "half" was "Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist", where I was seat-guarding for almost an hour into the film before they pulled me out. From what I saw, it was fantastic, and now I have to catch the rest of it when it opens next month (and so do you!). As for the rest:

Blindness - What happens when everyone suddenly goes blind? Society basically falls apart. The saddest part is that it's most likely true, if it were to happen in real life. One of the bleakest and most disturbing movies I've seen, but it was captured really well. The majority of the cast was there when I saw it, including Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo, Danny Glover, Don McKellar, Sandra Oh (who's in the film for about five seconds), Gael Garcia Bernal, and others. What really blew my mind later on was that I found out one of the box office supervisors that I worked with was in the film. I quizzed her endlessly on which scenes she was in, where the film was shot (Guelph), what Julianne Moore was like, and other such useless things. If I get to see the film again, I'll be watching like a hawk for the three seconds that they didn't cut her out of, and listening for her one line, off camera.

Religulous - In a word, hilarious. I believe Bill Maher is sincere (occasionally) when he asks people of all faiths his questions about how they can such faith in something that contradicts itself constantly or has no actual proof that it happened. He really does want to know why, because he doesn't know what to believe. He does ridicule some people relentlessly, but sometimes they're just asking for it. Definitely worth seeing, even if you hate his guts. Apparently, people were protesting outside the Ryerson before the screening, walking around in circles with placards. One of the volunteer captains is a friend from high school, and he was hoping that there would be enough Bill Maher fans clogging up the red carpet area so that the protesters couldn't walk around anymore.

$9.99 - A stop motion animated film that's NOT meant for children. A number of short stories are linked together with the premise that a guy who's looking for the meaning of life finds it in a book he orders for $9.99. It's also an Israeli/Australian production, with Geoffrey Rush as one of the voices. He was at the screening, and I couldn't remind my friend of where she'd seen him before until I said "Pirates of the Caribbean". The highlight was getting his autograph on my ticket stub and a really dark cell phone photo with him. If only my pen didn't decide to stop working...

The Brothers Bloom - I think my favourite of the bunch. A good old caper flick with two brothers who grow up to be con men, an eccentric heiress who's the target for one and the romantic interest for the other, a virtually silent Japanese accomplice with an affinity for explosives (the funniest character by far), and the most incredible fashion I've seen in a film that makes it impossible to place it in an era. The majority of the humour takes place in the background, so keep your eyes open. I got a few grainy cell phone shots of backs and foreheads on the red carpet and at the back door, but I can tell you who's in each one. Highly recommended when it comes to theatres.

The Heart of Jenin - An incredible documentary. In 2005, a 12-year-old Palestinian boy was accidentally killed by Israeli soldiers when they thought his toy gun was a real one. Instead of retribution, the boy's father decided to donate his son's organs to children in the area, at the suggestion of a Christian nurse. The recipients included an Orthodox Jewish girl (kidney), a Bedouin boy (kidney), and a Druze girl (heart). They followed the children whose lives were saved, as well as the father, who tries to make a difference in a difficult situation. The hardest part was the struggle the father endured just to travel around to visit the children that his son's organs saved. Really compelling.

The Biggest Chinese Restaurant in the World - The title pretty much says it all. Certified by Guinness, it shows how a woman came to build a culinary empire. In the middle of a restaurant that can hold 5,000 people, the film examines the lives of the people who eat and work there. The poverty that some of the employees were trying to escape from is stunning: one waitress gave up all of her own scholastic dreams in order to earn money to send her sister to medical school. It's not a complete downer - there are a lot of light hearted moments. And if you're squeemish, look away when they start talking about how to kill a duck.

This year's festival was great not just because of the films I saw, but also because of a lot of the interesting people I met during my shifts. I've noticed over the years that there's always a staggering number of Korean volunteers. I asked one of them, who was here since January to learn English, if it there were advertisements in Korea to be film fest volunteers in Toronto. She said no, she had heard about it by word of mouth, and she honestly thought she was the only one who knew about it. I met a Filipino girl who's studying journalism at Ryerson who spent her life in different countries around the world. Her favourite place? India, where she lived for three years. I ran into even more familiar faces at the volunteer and staff party. It was the first time I didn't feel awkward or bored, and I actually had to force myself to leave early so I wouldn't be dead at my desk the next day.

People ask me why I volunteer at this thing. The people, the stars, and the films add up to this really great experience that lasts for a week and a half each year. And now I have a Korean connection. It has just moved up my travel list.

"When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies"

Karma Police

I knew it even before he stepped out and pointed at me. Heck, I probably would have pulled over either way. The karma police had finally caught up to me, and I got my first speeding ticket.

Here's where the irony just piles on: I was driving within 10 km/h of the speed limit all the way home. I was running out of gas, and I didn't want to stop, so I tried to drive as efficiently as possible. With the moderate traffic on the highway, I maintained it with minimal braking. Then I got off the highway and turned onto the street with the notorious speed trap - four lanes of traffic and 40 km/h. The silly thing is that he's parked in the most obvious way at the top of the hill. I normally take a glance up there after I make the turn, but this time I didn't. And then I got distracted when I was trying to beat the yellow light at the next intersection. As usual, I saw him way too late, but this time he saw me. Everyone in front of me kept braking, and he just waved them along until he got to me. I wasn't just over the limit, I was substantially over the limit (due to my racing the light), but he was nice enough to lower it so I wouldn't lose any points. And I didn't have to dig around for my insurance either. I'm sure he just wanted to write this up quickly so he could catch the next fish.

I'm not too upset about this. First of all, I totally deserved it. Secondly, I've dodged many a bullet over the years, so if you average it out, it really isn't so bad. Finally, she might be a slow and calculating bitch, but karma will get you every time.

"This is what you get when you mess with us"

While I Still Can

No time for chit-chat, we've got a lot to cover here.

My 29th was quite the affair. Of course, it didn't go quite as planned, but it went anyway, as these things tend to do. My three-parter, "It's Not Too Late" bash began by having dinner with a fantastic mish-mash of friends from all areas and eras of my life. Iranian cuisine was not only tasty, but provided a great opportunity to wield peer pressure on my male friends to get them to try lamb testicles. It baffled me as to why they were making such a big deal about it...they don't taste like anything. But now not only can they say they've tried it, they'll have a reference to fall back on. Such as, "This tastes like lamb testicles" or "This is nothing compared to lamb testicles". I'm sure they'll thank me for this experience later (much, much later).

Part two turned out to be a bit of a bust, as most people bailed out on going to the night club. It wasn't a bad idea on their part, but it proved to be challenging for me, since I arrived after the designated time when the guest list was in effect. Naively, I thought that being a single girl would allow me easier access, but I would soon find out that I wasn't pretty enough for the bouncer to pay any attention me. Or, as another friend put it, I wasn't "skanky" enough. I had to resort to calling in my "connection", just like everyone else. Inside, it was an impressive space, except that the ceiling was leaking and the music was less than conducive to dancing. Not to mention the multitudes of skanks. At least it satisified my curiousity about the place, and I'll never have to wonder about it again.

The third part was a bit bumpy, since there was a scheduling mishap and we didn't get to do it the day following the dinner and the night club. But, as always, things worked themselves out for the better. It was a beautiful day, a few more people were able to join us at the circus school, and I wasn't dead tired from the night before. It was an incredibly fun time! We were able to try the mini double trampoline, the trampoline, the aerial hoop, the static trapeze, and...the flying trapeze. Unreal. I suppose a lot of people might think that I was crazy to do something like that, but to be honest, I've never felt more safe. Here's my tip: if you're going to do this, and you need corrective eyewear, DON'T wear your contacts. Bring your glasses, and when it's your turn, take your glasses off. Although I was half blind climbing up the ladder, by the time I got to the top I couldn't see the ground, and therefore couldn't tell how high up I was. Consequently, there was absolutely no fear with regards to the height. The only other challenge was hooking my legs up onto the trapeze while I was swinging. It took three and a half tries, but I finally got it. It was exhilarating, and worth the three days of total body soreness afterwards. I can't wait to go back.

Someone asked me, "Are all of your birthdays going to be like this from now on?" Of course not...only the ends and beginnings of each decade. And maybe the halfway points too. So thanks to everyone who participated this time around. Pencil me in for next year, because plans are already in the works...

"No need to worry 'bout everything I've done, live every second like it was my last one"

Which Way to Look

I really don't know which way to look. With so many things going on, I've hardly had time to blog about my trip! And I've been home for two weeks already.

First things first. South America was awesome. Can't believe how much fun it was. The good news is that my brother and I actually do get along. The bad news is that there are so many stories, I can't think of which ones I can tell here. A lot of spectacular nature and wildlife, some interesting characters that we met, plenty of adventures, and a little hindsight when it came to packing. I've decided that I really like cruising. You spend the day somewhere, you get back on the ship, you go to sleep, and the next day you wake up and you're somewhere else. I think we travelled more than 6,000 km in two weeks. There's food everywhere, but if you take the stairs instead of the elevators, you won't balloon too badly. The only slight downside was that it was definitely an older crowd. But we made the most of it, and it all worked out in the end since, as my brother put it, "Old people seem to like me." I think next time, we'll try something closer to our demographic. (My brother is already planning the "next time". Good sign.)

What else? Trying to organize the photos has been keeping me busy. And I didn't stay put for very long. The week after I came back I packed another bag and spent the weekend at my friend's new house in Brantford. We were even able to take part in Earth Hour, which is something we should be doing more often, in my opinion.

Reality set in pretty quickly once I got back to work. It's almost like they were saving the craziness for when I got back (they weren't, but the illusion is there). It's not all work and no play though. We've celebrated two birthdays already, and look at this, mine is coming up. Which is something that is also taking up a lot of my time. This is the first and likely not the last time I've organized my own birthday party. Well, I'm sure I've hosted parties before, way back in the day, but it's been a long time. And it's never been quite so big before either. Definitely a trial by fire, but if it's successful, I'll be looking forward to doing something like this every year. And so can you.

My list of things to do continues to grow ever longer. I'm back to my original problem: which way to look?

"Head underwater, and they tell me to breathe easy for a while"

What, Already?

Wow, not only has February blown past us, but we're even into overtime. Happy Leap Day everyone!

And before I know it, I'm going to be on a plane, bound for South America! That's right friends, the adventure this time is a two-week cruise around the end of South America, starting in Buenos Aires, Argentina and ending in Santiago, Chile. This will be the first time my brother and I travel together on our own. It will be interesting, for sure.

A lot of recurring patterns are starting to crop up as I continue my travels. First, I acquire the region's alcoholic beverage (I'm generating a very diverse collection). Next, I tend to visit a volcano or mountain (I don't know why I have the desire to climb something while on vacation). And finally, I'm either rushing to or from a wedding (if anyone's getting married in July, please let me know).

"All through my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise, don't keep your distance"

Where is the Love?

I have some rather exciting news to share: I've started the application process to become a volunteer at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. As can be expected, it's rather lengthy, and will require a screening process, interview, RCMP background check, etc. But to have the chance to see the Olympics from behind the scenes? In a word: AWESOME.

But that leads me into a topic that I've been meaning to talk about. Last year, one of my coworkers was on vacation out in the western provinces, and she told me that she did her best to hide the fact that she was from Toronto. When, on one occasion, her origin was revealed, the attitude of the person (who was a retail employee) changed dramatically. She was no longer smiling or friendly. She simply finished the transaction and gave my coworker her purchase.

It's a fairly well known fact that a lot of people in other parts of this country have a strong dislike of people who are from Toronto. My biggest question is: WHY? The most common answer is that they believe people from Toronto think that "Toronto is the centre of the universe". In my entire lifetime, I've never encountered anyone from Toronto who has ever uttered those words, let alone believed them. Other Canadians think that people from Toronto are rude, full of themselves, and unfriendly. Lately, I've heard that they think Toronto has become too much like an "American city": crime-ridden and polluted.

It breaks my heart to hear this kind of thing, because it's come to the point where Canadians are openly prejudiced against other Canadians. Are we not from the same country? Don't we believe in the same principles and values? Aren't we known, as a people, to be open and unbiased? Don't we condemn people who are intolerant of those who simply come from another part of the world, or believe in different things? So why are we treating each other so poorly? I don't understand it at all.

If I were to go to another city, such as Vancouver, and ask someone from that city if they think Vancouver is the best city in the world, what do you think would be the response? But if I say the same thing about Toronto, I would be considered snobbish and arrogant. Personally, I love Vancouver. And Montreal. I really enjoy travelling around this country, and have already visited six of the ten provinces. I've also been to many parts of the world and I love cities like London and Paris. But to me, Toronto will always be home. I can't imagine living anywhere else. Why is that considered a bad thing?

So on this Valentine's Day, I ask everyone to let a little love in, for people from every part of this country. There's just too much hate as it is. Let's start small, and we can figure out the secret to world peace later.

"Now's the time that we need to share, so send a smile, we're on our way back home"

Mission: Implausible

My brother and I went to the mall last weekend to have lunch, pick up a birthday present for my aunt, and generally browse around. On our way home, we stopped to get gas for his car, which we've dubbed "The Beige Beauty". It's falling apart on all sides, most of the interior electronics are fried, and you can hear it coming from blocks away.

Recently, it started making a "new" noise. One would describe it either as rocks tumbling or a drummer persistently playing the high hat. The new noise started up after we filled up, but then abrupted stopped. I didn't think anything other than it was nice to stop drawing attention to ourselves from pedestrians and motorists who had this look on their faces like we were here to destroy them. But then my brother looked down and said, "Um...the engine temperature is quite high." We both looked and saw the needle climbing slowly and steadily higher. Then, as if on cue, the "Check Gauges" light started to flash. We started to get fairly alarmed. Next thing we knew, the "Check Engine" light started to flash urgently. As a stop-gap measure, we cranked up the heat to try and draw some of it from the engine. All we got was really cold air.

So, what do we do here? We were pretty close to home. Stopping on the side of the road for a few minutes wouldn't really do much to cool the engine down. If we tried to speed up to get home faster, it might only serve to overheat the engine faster and we could blow up in the middle of the road. If we slowed down, we might not heat up as quickly, but then we could still blow up in the middle of the road before we got home. We decided to plow onwards, with me on the edge of my seat saying "Please don't blow up" over and over.

We made it home and my brother turned the car off quickly. We popped the hood and looked around. Strangely, nothing was smoking, and the radiator was ice cold.

In the end, it turned out that the fan belt had fallen off somewhere on the road. Most likely at the point when the rocks stopped tumbling. Oh yes, and the water pump had crapped out. Amazingly, my father got both of them replaced at a shop where they didn't try to get him to fix every other thing that was wrong with the car. And so we've breathed new life back into the Beige Beauty. One thing to be said for the cars in my family: all of them end their lives at the dump.

"Stop and stare, I think I'm moving but I go nowhere"