Son of a...!!
Sorry, it's just that I've managed to get a song stuck in my head. "Beyond the Sea", as you may have deduced. No no, not the Robbie Williams/"Finding Nemo" version or the Will Young version and certainly not the Wet Wet Wet version. The original Bobby Darin version. It's a nice mellow song, don't you think? I guess it got stuck in there because I'm doing my pre-film fest research, and I want to go see "Beyond the Sea", the biopic about Bobby Darin starring Kevin Spacey. Who looks like a reincarnated Bobby Darin when you put the two photos next to each other. CREEPY. But I like the music. He was actually more famous for "Mack the Knife" and "Splish Splash", among others. Of course, his life story is full of controversy, otherwise they wouldn't have made it into a movie. Kate Bosworth is going to play his wife Sandra Dee. It looks like it's going to be a good movie. And hey, Kevin Spacey is (possibly) going to be there, so how cool is that?
"My lover stands on golden sands and watches the ships that go sailin'"
Monday, August 30, 2004
Monday, August 23, 2004
Which Came First, The Bad Idea Or Me Befallen By It?
I don't know why I kept thinking of this Matthew Good song these past few months. It's not like the song has anything to do with surprise parties. Or maybe it does. I'll have to go back and listen to it again. But what am I talking about? OH YES...the REAL surprise party, the one that we'd been planning for the past 3 months, the one that finally happened yesterday, the one that we had to cover up with a "fake" surprise party last week.
BSF: Bring Several Friends. At least that's what Jocelyn thought was going to happen when we found out that Em's parents were going to be decidedly out of the country and we were going to recapture some lost youth. In reality, it became BSJF: Bring Several of Jocelyn's Friends. People we had not seen in ages, and people we had never seen at all. It took some major sleuthing and lucky coincidences to put this thing together. I was told at the party that I should have been a party planner. To be honest, I just have a knack for organizing almost anything. Okay, my room might be evidence to the contrary, but when it comes to big groups of people and a single event, then yeah, I'm not too shabby.
Alert Status Red, But The Sun Comes Up Instead:
The problems...and boy did we have some doozies. I have decided that the worst possible words to hear when planning a surprise party are these: "Hey, why don't we use Evite?" Thanks Jocelyn, good idea. How were we supposed to secretly invite people when she could see everyone we invited? Solution: fake Evite. Create an invitation solely for the benefit of Jocelyn. Turn the privacy mode on full blast so that nobody could see anybody else's info, ESPECIALLY their e-mail addresses. Create 15 fake e-mail addresses for 15 fake invitees. Have a minor aneurysm when, just before the ball gets rolling, ownership of the fake invitation gets transferred to a fake guest. Every day, manipulate the guest responses so that it looks like Rehmat is a "maybe" and Tess is bringing the Shrinky Dinks (for the record, I did not make up that response). Meanwhile, send the real invitation out to a bunch of people who have little idea who I am, ask them to invite others, watch as the guest list balloons fantastically out of control, then even itself out when half of the invitees back out or don't respond.
Party planning: Uh...no Jocelyn, we haven't started the planning yet. Uh...no Jocelyn, I think we should wait for Emily to return from the cottage. Uh...no Jocelyn, you don't have to bring anything. After all, you're going to be at a bridal shower in the afternoon. Uh...don't worry about it Jocelyn, we'll take care of the food and we'll just split the bill later.
Oh wait...the fake surprise party. Some of the people at the fake surprise party are supposedly coming to the BSF. What if someone brings up the topic? Solution: get to the restaurant early, provide everyone with their alibis. For the third time, Chris, you said YES.
And now, for the party: Jocelyn arrived before most of the surprise guests, so crisis control kicked in and people had to hide around the side of the house for 15-20 minutes, partially sprayed by the lawn sprinkler, until we regrouped, kicked Jocelyn out of the kitchen, and finally got the festivities started with "Jocelyn, This Is Your Life!", a plan that got cooked up about 5 seconds before it was executed. Why can't I think on my feet like this in other situations??
The Only Place To Find Freedom Is In The Dictionary Under "F":
So in the end, Jocelyn was completely and utterly surprised to the point of helpless confusion. It was a success. And now I can breathe. For a couple of weeks, anyway...
"Beneath the ancient sand lies crushed and tanned those sapphire girls"
BSF: Bring Several Friends. At least that's what Jocelyn thought was going to happen when we found out that Em's parents were going to be decidedly out of the country and we were going to recapture some lost youth. In reality, it became BSJF: Bring Several of Jocelyn's Friends. People we had not seen in ages, and people we had never seen at all. It took some major sleuthing and lucky coincidences to put this thing together. I was told at the party that I should have been a party planner. To be honest, I just have a knack for organizing almost anything. Okay, my room might be evidence to the contrary, but when it comes to big groups of people and a single event, then yeah, I'm not too shabby.
Alert Status Red, But The Sun Comes Up Instead:
The problems...and boy did we have some doozies. I have decided that the worst possible words to hear when planning a surprise party are these: "Hey, why don't we use Evite?" Thanks Jocelyn, good idea. How were we supposed to secretly invite people when she could see everyone we invited? Solution: fake Evite. Create an invitation solely for the benefit of Jocelyn. Turn the privacy mode on full blast so that nobody could see anybody else's info, ESPECIALLY their e-mail addresses. Create 15 fake e-mail addresses for 15 fake invitees. Have a minor aneurysm when, just before the ball gets rolling, ownership of the fake invitation gets transferred to a fake guest. Every day, manipulate the guest responses so that it looks like Rehmat is a "maybe" and Tess is bringing the Shrinky Dinks (for the record, I did not make up that response). Meanwhile, send the real invitation out to a bunch of people who have little idea who I am, ask them to invite others, watch as the guest list balloons fantastically out of control, then even itself out when half of the invitees back out or don't respond.
Party planning: Uh...no Jocelyn, we haven't started the planning yet. Uh...no Jocelyn, I think we should wait for Emily to return from the cottage. Uh...no Jocelyn, you don't have to bring anything. After all, you're going to be at a bridal shower in the afternoon. Uh...don't worry about it Jocelyn, we'll take care of the food and we'll just split the bill later.
Oh wait...the fake surprise party. Some of the people at the fake surprise party are supposedly coming to the BSF. What if someone brings up the topic? Solution: get to the restaurant early, provide everyone with their alibis. For the third time, Chris, you said YES.
And now, for the party: Jocelyn arrived before most of the surprise guests, so crisis control kicked in and people had to hide around the side of the house for 15-20 minutes, partially sprayed by the lawn sprinkler, until we regrouped, kicked Jocelyn out of the kitchen, and finally got the festivities started with "Jocelyn, This Is Your Life!", a plan that got cooked up about 5 seconds before it was executed. Why can't I think on my feet like this in other situations??
The Only Place To Find Freedom Is In The Dictionary Under "F":
So in the end, Jocelyn was completely and utterly surprised to the point of helpless confusion. It was a success. And now I can breathe. For a couple of weeks, anyway...
"Beneath the ancient sand lies crushed and tanned those sapphire girls"
Friday, August 20, 2004
Talk About Sweet!
I keep my eyes open for any kind of contest/promotion that features prizes that interest me, like all expense paid trips to South Africa and the like. But it's not just the biggie prizes, it's small things too, like music.
This summer, Fruitopia has been offering promotion in conjunction with Puretracks. Now, I say to myself, fruit juice AND an ethical music download? Sweet! The bonus was that I got the Fruitopia for free. Double sweet! There's an access code inside the bottle cap, and you just go to the Puretracks website and follow the arrows. The contest itself is a little devious. Once you enter your info and the access code, they play a random song and show ten random cartoon DJs, and they ask you to pick which one you think is spinning the track. Now, there is NO way to tell just by looking which one is doing it. It's not like they head-bob in time to the music or anything, they're all pre-programmed to move in the same continuous looping pattern. It' s more like the rubber duck game at the CNE: try your luck, pick a duck, win a prize. You're allowed to play up to three access codes a day. I only have two, but I've been trying almost daily. So far, in the past four weeks, I've won four times, and each time, it was always the first DJ I looked at. If I waffled and tried to guess logically, then I always picked the wrong one. It's kind of weird how it works better when I don't think.
Lesson of the day: Don't think. Trust your instincts.
"Just do it, just start the commotion"
This summer, Fruitopia has been offering promotion in conjunction with Puretracks. Now, I say to myself, fruit juice AND an ethical music download? Sweet! The bonus was that I got the Fruitopia for free. Double sweet! There's an access code inside the bottle cap, and you just go to the Puretracks website and follow the arrows. The contest itself is a little devious. Once you enter your info and the access code, they play a random song and show ten random cartoon DJs, and they ask you to pick which one you think is spinning the track. Now, there is NO way to tell just by looking which one is doing it. It's not like they head-bob in time to the music or anything, they're all pre-programmed to move in the same continuous looping pattern. It' s more like the rubber duck game at the CNE: try your luck, pick a duck, win a prize. You're allowed to play up to three access codes a day. I only have two, but I've been trying almost daily. So far, in the past four weeks, I've won four times, and each time, it was always the first DJ I looked at. If I waffled and tried to guess logically, then I always picked the wrong one. It's kind of weird how it works better when I don't think.
Lesson of the day: Don't think. Trust your instincts.
"Just do it, just start the commotion"
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
Conspiracy Is My Middle Name
I can breathe a relative sigh of relief today. I've been harbouring the hugest secret for some time now. Once again, I found myself in the middle of a double surprise birthday event. Jocelyn and Em's birthdays are less than a month apart. And it would seem that we have now created a level of surprising that requires the bar to be raised every time. Which, as you can imagine, is kind of difficult after we've known each other for so long and have been doing this for many years.
Due to scheduling difficulties, we finally were able to settle on a date a couple of days after Jocelyn's birthday. But that still made it a couple of weeks too early for Em's, but as our motto for Summer 2004 states, "We gotta take what we can get". Boni and I took our places as the co-conspirators. But how to make sure the both of them are where we want them? Simple: make them part of the planning. Jocelyn was told to "reserve" the day for us, and Em was told "strategic" information about the day, but not all of the details. All Jocelyn knew was that the day would be filled with events, culminating into a dinner. That left the door open for us to spring a dinner surprise on poor hapless Em, who had no idea that we invited several of her friends and relatives to dinner. I had to miss the day portion because of work, but I was able to get to the restaurant on time (sort of). A surprise guest, a late brother and a few no-shows made the event what it always seems to turn out to be: a success. I still don't know how these things always manage to work out. I guess you could say I have a really organizational mind. And a flair for espionage. Maybe I should change professions. Or give lessons.
Sounds Like "Yours To Discover" or "Live Free or Die":
There were some surprise gifts for our birthday girls, which included our "slogan t-shirts". Now, for those of you who don't know, I have been inspired in the past several months to come up with slogans for each of us (Ada, Em, Jocelyn, Laboni, and me). After a while, it sounded a lot like a marketing campaign. In any case, some of them are ridiculously funny (and have some long stories attached), and some sound like slogans you'd see on a license plate. So here, for your enjoyment and ridicule, are our slogans (in the order they were created):
"More attractive than a 12-year-old"
"Dense...not lighter than air"
"Has to beat them away with a stick"
"Always an adventure"
"It's all about balance"
I'll let you guys figure out which one belongs to each of us.
"Shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time"
Due to scheduling difficulties, we finally were able to settle on a date a couple of days after Jocelyn's birthday. But that still made it a couple of weeks too early for Em's, but as our motto for Summer 2004 states, "We gotta take what we can get". Boni and I took our places as the co-conspirators. But how to make sure the both of them are where we want them? Simple: make them part of the planning. Jocelyn was told to "reserve" the day for us, and Em was told "strategic" information about the day, but not all of the details. All Jocelyn knew was that the day would be filled with events, culminating into a dinner. That left the door open for us to spring a dinner surprise on poor hapless Em, who had no idea that we invited several of her friends and relatives to dinner. I had to miss the day portion because of work, but I was able to get to the restaurant on time (sort of). A surprise guest, a late brother and a few no-shows made the event what it always seems to turn out to be: a success. I still don't know how these things always manage to work out. I guess you could say I have a really organizational mind. And a flair for espionage. Maybe I should change professions. Or give lessons.
Sounds Like "Yours To Discover" or "Live Free or Die":
There were some surprise gifts for our birthday girls, which included our "slogan t-shirts". Now, for those of you who don't know, I have been inspired in the past several months to come up with slogans for each of us (Ada, Em, Jocelyn, Laboni, and me). After a while, it sounded a lot like a marketing campaign. In any case, some of them are ridiculously funny (and have some long stories attached), and some sound like slogans you'd see on a license plate. So here, for your enjoyment and ridicule, are our slogans (in the order they were created):
"More attractive than a 12-year-old"
"Dense...not lighter than air"
"Has to beat them away with a stick"
"Always an adventure"
"It's all about balance"
I'll let you guys figure out which one belongs to each of us.
"Shakedown 1979, cool kids never have the time"
Sunday, August 15, 2004
I Am A Hot Commodity
Okay, how many people did not see this coming? I would have to say...zero. And yet here we are. It's just ridiculous. It kind of brings new meaning to my perception of "roaming Asian posses". Hide the women and children! Man, I hope Ada is okay in Beijing...
Larry, Curly and Moe, Eat Your Heart Out:
Yesterday I witnessed the fine art of slapstick in all its glory. I was at a BBQ, and a bunch of us were hanging out in the kitchen. Jack was standing near the dining room door, holding his drink ("girly punch", as he called it) and talking to a few people. From the other door, Tim came bounding into the kitchen, straight towards Jack. Jack, startled, moved backwards quickly but bumped into someone (we believe it was Jeff), and spilled some of his drink onto the floor. Tim slipped on the drink, wobbled in the most ungraceful manner I have ever seen, and hit the floor. He also bumped into the wine rack, which teetered in the most frightening way. Then Jack, as he leaned forward to help Tim onto his feet, forgot that he was still holding the remnants of his drink and promptly spilled the rest of it onto Tim. The wine rack (which held a large number of bottles as well as several glasses) settled back to its original state with all contents intact. While this was unfolding, there was a collective gasp, silence for a few seconds, and then the room burst into a mix of laughter and 'are you okay?' and 'what just happened?'.
Lesson of the day: Don't forget that you're holding the girly punch.
"Oops, I did it again..."
Larry, Curly and Moe, Eat Your Heart Out:
Yesterday I witnessed the fine art of slapstick in all its glory. I was at a BBQ, and a bunch of us were hanging out in the kitchen. Jack was standing near the dining room door, holding his drink ("girly punch", as he called it) and talking to a few people. From the other door, Tim came bounding into the kitchen, straight towards Jack. Jack, startled, moved backwards quickly but bumped into someone (we believe it was Jeff), and spilled some of his drink onto the floor. Tim slipped on the drink, wobbled in the most ungraceful manner I have ever seen, and hit the floor. He also bumped into the wine rack, which teetered in the most frightening way. Then Jack, as he leaned forward to help Tim onto his feet, forgot that he was still holding the remnants of his drink and promptly spilled the rest of it onto Tim. The wine rack (which held a large number of bottles as well as several glasses) settled back to its original state with all contents intact. While this was unfolding, there was a collective gasp, silence for a few seconds, and then the room burst into a mix of laughter and 'are you okay?' and 'what just happened?'.
Lesson of the day: Don't forget that you're holding the girly punch.
"Oops, I did it again..."
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Suicide Rates Skyrocket in Stouffville
Something is going on in the hinterland. Driving along Stouffville Road today, I encountered something like 10 dead animals (or at least bits and pieces of them) all over the road, and spread out between the highway exit and the plant. These were not the usual squirrels and skunks. They were somewhat larger. But, unfortunately, they were a little too disassembled for me to tell what they were.
Poor things...was there no other way?
"I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream, I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean"
Poor things...was there no other way?
"I don't know what's worth fighting for, or why I have to scream, I don't know why I instigate and say what I don't mean"
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
He Ate All The Shrimp, And Two Plastic Lobsters:
Taste of the Danforth...what a wonderful concept. On a lazy summer weekend, stroll down the middle of one of the major streets in Toronto, sample all kinds of food (mostly Greek, but there's still an interesting international mix) for low low prices, dodge the rain, give in and buy a $5 umbrella, be a walking advertisement for one of the lemonade stands, watch where you step (stupid corn cobs), learn how to stand in line without letting people pass in front of you, keep the ice cream guy at Demetre's honest (we saw you drop that scoop of vanilla and consider putting it back on the crepe), and check out the street entertainment (maybe that was flamenco dancing after all).
It wasn't until I was on my way home that I realized that Matt's eating pattern reminded me of that Simpsons' episode where Homer takes the Sea Captain to court over the false advertising of his "all-you-can-eat" seafood restaurant. "'Tis no man, 'tis a remorseless eating machine."
"In the heat of summer sunshine, I miss you like nobody else"
Taste of the Danforth...what a wonderful concept. On a lazy summer weekend, stroll down the middle of one of the major streets in Toronto, sample all kinds of food (mostly Greek, but there's still an interesting international mix) for low low prices, dodge the rain, give in and buy a $5 umbrella, be a walking advertisement for one of the lemonade stands, watch where you step (stupid corn cobs), learn how to stand in line without letting people pass in front of you, keep the ice cream guy at Demetre's honest (we saw you drop that scoop of vanilla and consider putting it back on the crepe), and check out the street entertainment (maybe that was flamenco dancing after all).
It wasn't until I was on my way home that I realized that Matt's eating pattern reminded me of that Simpsons' episode where Homer takes the Sea Captain to court over the false advertising of his "all-you-can-eat" seafood restaurant. "'Tis no man, 'tis a remorseless eating machine."
"In the heat of summer sunshine, I miss you like nobody else"
Monday, August 02, 2004
Mazel Tov!:
My first Jewish wedding. MUCH more entertaining than most. I mean, the ceremony is brief, there's all kinds of singing/chanting, you're constantly wondering if the teetering chuppah is going to fall down, and the bride and groom don't just stand there, they get to move about in circles and break things. Just to recap, this was my cousin Kimberly's wedding to the Moldovian dermatologist (Ben). It was a nice ceremony and a really nice reception. So many great creative ideas for this one: the ceremony and the reception were held in the same place and one after the other, they gave mixed CDs in three different languages (English, Chinese, and Russian) as parting gifts, they had gigantic glass vases of white calla lilies as centrepieces (which we got to take home), they had a list of the members of each table framed on the tables (which we also got to take home), and, here's the part I liked best, they had live music instead of a DJ. It was almost exactly like "The Wedding Singer", except it was a four-piece, with one guy on guitar, one guy on keyboards, one guy on sax/flute, and one female vocalist. She did an amazing rendition of "Time to Say Goodbye", which blew everyone away. If I ever get married, I would go with the live music for sure.
"The way you hold your knife, the way we danced 'til three, the way you changed my life, no no, they can't take that away from me"
My first Jewish wedding. MUCH more entertaining than most. I mean, the ceremony is brief, there's all kinds of singing/chanting, you're constantly wondering if the teetering chuppah is going to fall down, and the bride and groom don't just stand there, they get to move about in circles and break things. Just to recap, this was my cousin Kimberly's wedding to the Moldovian dermatologist (Ben). It was a nice ceremony and a really nice reception. So many great creative ideas for this one: the ceremony and the reception were held in the same place and one after the other, they gave mixed CDs in three different languages (English, Chinese, and Russian) as parting gifts, they had gigantic glass vases of white calla lilies as centrepieces (which we got to take home), they had a list of the members of each table framed on the tables (which we also got to take home), and, here's the part I liked best, they had live music instead of a DJ. It was almost exactly like "The Wedding Singer", except it was a four-piece, with one guy on guitar, one guy on keyboards, one guy on sax/flute, and one female vocalist. She did an amazing rendition of "Time to Say Goodbye", which blew everyone away. If I ever get married, I would go with the live music for sure.
"The way you hold your knife, the way we danced 'til three, the way you changed my life, no no, they can't take that away from me"