Things They'll Never Do

Some updates from the last post.

The visitation for my friend Sean was one of the most well attended I'd ever seen.  The room was packed.  A good number of my classmates (some of whom I had reconnected with at the lunch gathering the week before) were there.  The casket was closed, but I still went up to pay my respects.  We met his family - his parents, brother and sister.  There was a short service, with Sean's father giving a really heartbreaking speech.  But the things I noticed the most were Sean's photos.  As it turns out, he was in a creative photography program at the nearby college, and was just a few months away from graduating.  They displayed some samples of his work all around the room.  His photos showed just how talented he was.  It made me even more sad to think that he was about to start a new adventure in his life.

Shortly afterwards, I was hit with some more bad news.  A former coworker of mine, Steve, who as it happens was also at university with me, 2 years ahead but in the same program, died suddenly at his home.  We heard that he wasn't feeling well the day before, had gone to bed, but then didn't wake up.  He did have a health condition, but it's not clear if that was the cause of his death.  The family decided to have a private funeral so we didn't have a chance to say goodbye to him, but there was a memorial webpage created to allow everyone to share stories and memories of him so that his children would be able to know him better as they got older.

Steve was the biggest jokester there ever was.  He was relentless sometimes, teasing and playing pranks on others at work.  Reading the stories from others who knew him, it was clear that he did it all the time.  But the one thing I knew about him was that he loved his kids.  As I thought about him in the days following his passing, I kept thinking about his children.  I can't remember how old they are, but they are still young, under the age of 10 for sure.  I thought, Steve is never going to get to see his son graduate from...anything.  He's never going to get to walk his daughter down an aisle, if that were to happen in the future.

It's an existential moment for me, as I'm sure you can tell.  The part that touches me the most is that they both died under very similar circumstances.  Extremely suddenly, possibly from an undiagnosed health issue, and at home.  Life offers no promises and no guarantees, except for one.  When it comes, I hope I'm ready.

"It's been a long day without you my friend, and I'll tell you all about it when I see you again"