In anticipation of a new reader, I started re-reading my old posts from the beginning, as a reminder of the girl I once was. I guess I haven't changed that much over the years. I'm still a little sarcastic, a little self-deprecating, a lot introspective. I found a post that reminded me that it might be easier for me to express myself through the written word rather than a verbal conversation. So here we go:
I've been told recently that it's not easy to get to know me. That would normally surprise me, but not in this case. I have a feeling that past experiences are holding me back. This is a disappointing revelation, since I thought that I had made some really good progress over the past few years. I might have also been deluding myself all this time, thinking that I was perfectly okay with being on my own. Maybe I'm not. But, as it turns out, the fears are still there. The fear of allowing someone in and then watching them crush me. The fear of seeing more than there actually is. The fear of being blind to the obvious.
So what do I do?
Let's try something new. I want to be as brave as possible. I want to leave the past behind and look forward. I want to be okay with things, whether they work in my favour or not.
New Friend, this is me, with as much truth as I can muster. I know there's a lot to go through, so no rush. I hope you'll know me better in the end. And I hope you're okay with me mentioning you here.
"Just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die, you gotta get up and try and try and try"
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