From the Motherland

As I prepare to leave, I've found that I've learned quite a bit from this journey back to the motherland.

• I can see why Chinese people drive the way they do.  But HK is apparently pretty civilized compared to Beijing.
• I will never again complain about the cold.  My love of cold has become completely irrevocable through this experience.
• I don't know how people in both HK and KL can wear skinny jeans and sweaters in 40 degree humidity.  It utterly baffled me.  And made me feel even MORE hot.
• I'm starting to develop a certain opinion about Mainlanders (not a really good thing).
• There's people.  Lots of people.  Everywhere.  All the time.
• Despite the number of people, my brother told me that in the year that he's been living there, he has not yet seen my doppelgänger.  This news actually makes me feel great.  It's another indication that I am unique.
• They are seriously paranoid about germs in Asia.  Which I guess has something to do with the number of people you could come into contact with at any given moment.
• I have a better understanding of why my mother feels the need to carry toothpicks with her everywhere.

Having said all that, I've come to the conclusion that HK is a great place to visit, but definitely not a place to live for me.  And so the Asian Adventure comes to an end.  But I'm pretty sure that it won't be another 30 years before I come back.

"Out of place all the time, in a world that wasn't mine to take"

The Land of Durian

I have never had durian before.  I've heard the stories about the stink, but I've never had the opportunity to try it.  Until I got to Hong Kong, and it turns out that it's one of my great aunt's favourites.  So, out of respect and politeness, I agreed to try it.  The general rule is that if you can handle the smell, you should be able to eat it.  It isn't the most pleasant smell in the world, but I'm sure there are other things that smell a whole lot worse.  So I was fine with it.  But I wasn't keen on eating more than a couple of pieces.

Now I find myself in the land of durian.  So much so that there is actually a sign in our hotel that bans durian from being brought into the rooms.  Malaysia has so far met my expectations for the heat level.  For some reason, it feels exponentially hotter here than in HK.  However, the customs of the land suggest a more modest waredrobe for women (refrain from shorts and tank tops).  Much to my chagrin and embarrassment, I forgot about that.  So yes, I did feel conspicuous at the airport.  To a lesser degree at the central train station where I saw other female tourists baring their legs.

But I'm definitely going to have to go to the market in the morning. (Ed. note: I wrote this last night but lost Wifi connection before I could publish. After walking around today and seeing people wear less clothing than me, I think I'll be okay after all)

The one thing I'm glad I remembered: my umbrella.  I've now experienced a black rain warning.  They also have red rain and amber rain.  But no purple rain.

The one thing I wish I remembered: the bug spray.

"If you know what I'm singin' about up here, come on raise your hand"

Greetings From The Future

So this is what the future is like.

Oh my goodness.  It's so hot.  But it's not as bad as I thought it would be, when you consider that there's air conditioning pretty much everywhere you go.  And, despite my best efforts, I am kind of sick.  I have the feeling that everyone is secretly giving me the stink-eye for not wearing a bird flu mask.

Some general observations:

• There are 7-Eleven convenience stores EVERYWHERE.  Making them remarkably convenient.
• May is the start of the rainy season.  Oops.
• My brother's room at our great-aunt's apartment looked bigger when we were talking on Skype.
• The whole place just gives me the impression of it being one big Chinatown.  For obvious reasons, but especially the architecture, the signage, the people, and, of course, the smells.

I went up to Victoria Peak, which is about as touristy as you can possibly get.  We were just below the cloudline when we got there, but as the sun set, the clouds rolled in and everything was glowing in the mist.  Very cool.

"There's a wonderful place called tomorrowland, and it's only a dream away"

As Eaten On TV

It was a short visit to San Francisco, but a successful one in terms of eating.  I found one of the diners in Berkeley, Bette's Oceanview Diner, that had an amazing soufflé pancake and this meat-like product called scrapple that's really tasty.  I also found some food trucks.  I had a falafel sandwich from La Falafel, steamed buns from The Chairman (formerly called Chairman Bao), and blackberry lemonade from the Taco Guys.

I'm signing off from the past now.  Next time you hear from me, I'll be in the future.

"If I said let's run away, won't you leave with me tonight?"

My Adventure Started Without Me

The adventure got off to an early start. So early, in fact, that it left without me.

For the first time in my whole life, I missed a flight that wasn't cancelled.

I got to the airport with 2.5 hours to spare.  Or so I thought.  I had to get into the lineup because I couldn't check in online.  I thought it was because I was on an Air Canada code share (I bought the flights through United).  The line was short but still took half an hour because most of the agents were taking their breaks at the same time.  I finally got to a desk...and the woman informed me that my flight closed 20 minutes ago.  What??  I thought I had gone crazy but I insisted that my flight was at 8:15 pm.  No, she said, my flight was at 6:55 pm.  They had changed my flight time and didn't tell me.  I could still get on but I couldn't check my bag.  Well, that wasn't going to work either.

Okay, deep breath.  What are my options?  There were no other flights that night going to San Francisco (or any other western US city).  The direct flight in the morning was full up.  The best she could do was send me to Vancouver at 10:55 pm tonight, arrive at 1:00 am, and then fly down to SF at 8:10 am, arriving at 10:30 am.  This, I was assured, was the best option.

After getting it sorted out, and receiving $20 in food vouchers, I called my dad and my cousin to tell them the turn of events.  My dad insisted that I go to the United desk and raise hell.  Fine, I had nothing else to do.  It was a ghost town at United.  There was nobody there except for two women chatting on the side, and one of them looked like an employee.  I waited until she noticed me, took a breath, then told my story.  She was pretty appalled at the solution I was given, especially the fact that I wasn't offered a hotel voucher.  There are laws, apparently.  She got on her computer and tried to find me something better.  Oh, but it wasn't United's fault that I wasn't contacted about the time change, contrary to what I was told at AC.  And she couldn't give me a hotel voucher either.  Another employee showed up and together they looked for flights.  The best option was to stay put for the night and fly to Chicago at 6:30 am and connect there.  They had flights going to SF almost every half hour, so if anything happened I wouldn't be stuck for very long.  The way the AC agent set up my tickets meant that we had to go to the AC desks again, have them cancel the crazy flights they put me on, and then she could book me onto the United flights.

After we made the cancellation, we went back to the United desk.  There was a black purse on the ledge and nobody around.  I took a half step backwards because my night could actually take a bigger turn for the worse.  The lady just opened it, looked inside (nothing unusual), then called security to pick it up (the owner showed up before security did).  She booked my flights, giving me premium economy seats at no charge, and told me what to do when I came back in the morning at 4:00 (!).  She also gave me instructions on how to get to Air Canada's customer service website to tell my story and see what they'll do for me.  If they don't do anything, then I should contact Transport Canada and escalate it.

I called my dad and he picked me up.  I was going to spend the night in Edmond's room because my old room was going to be used by my aunt from Winnipeg, who was arriving the same night for a mini high school reunion with other high school friends who were also arriving around the same time and were also being picked up by my parents.  Living five minutes away from the airport has its pros and cons.  Mostly pros for me, especially on this occasion.

Steve was pretty surprised to see me.  He made a funny point.  I had thanked the United lady, Anne Marie, profusely because she stayed overtime to help me out.  She said she did it because I was nice about it and wasn't yelling and screaming.  If I had started out that way, she would have said that it was her quitting time and would have left me to find someone else.  I said to Steve, "See, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."  To which he replied, "Yeah, but you can probably catch even more flies with a big pile of poop."

"It's silent in the early morning, the only sound is my breathing, as I lay awake not knowing where it will be I'm going"

The Boys Always Break My Heart

Sigh.

As I left work today, I told my boss (a diehard Habs fan) that I was pretty sure the Leafs were going to break my heart tonight.  He was actually convinced that the Leafs would break his heart.  I hate to be so pessimistic, but historical evidence is hard to ignore.  And I've found that if I keep my expectations low, it makes exceeding them that much easier and satisfying.

I flipped to the game when they were winning 4-1 in the 3rd period.  For a second, I got excited.  But I had a terrible feeling that it wasn't going to last.  It didn't.  A spectacular choke.  I couldn't even bring myself to watch the overtime.  Instead, I watched Chris Hadfield land in the middle of Kazakhstan.  Much more successful.

"Planet Earth is blue, and there's nothing I can do"

Downbursts Are Baby Tornadoes, Right?

"...severe thunderstorms...could cause large hail and downburst winds..."

Okay, so it turns out that downbursts aren't baby tornadoes.  But this was the gist of what I read on the National Weather Service website before I got on a plane to Dallas yesterday.

Last Thursday, I was eating lunch at my desk when my boss called me into his office. When I went in, he was staring at the vacation calendar that's posted on his wall. My heart nearly stopped. "Err...is everything okay with my vacation?" I asked nervously. "Oh yeah, we're good," he replied. "Can you go to Dallas next week?"

We are apparently looking into getting some new equipment. The sales guy for one of the vendors had arranged a demo at a cosmetics company in the States. This project actually belonged to my coworker, but his visa paperwork didn't come through in time. My boss was going to go, but there was a customer visit at our site on the same day that was pretty important. The sales guy had already rescheduled the demo once and couldn't change it again. So I became the pinch hitter.

When you think about it, I'm probably the more ideal candidate to go to a cosmetics company. On the other hand, it's Texas. All I can do is hope that they don't shoot the girl first.

I had dinner with the sales guy at a really good steakhouse, Del Frisco's.  It's a small chain that originated from Texas but has locations all over the US.  I would say it's a small step above Ruth's Chris.  They had valet parking and everything.  The meal was great, but it was a little too much food a little too late in the night.  I was exhausted and stuffed.  But I guess it helped me out because I slept like a log the whole night, which is unusual (I usually toss and turn the first night in a hotel from the unfamiliar environment and the different noises).

We went to the facility, which was a strange experience.  It had a security fence all around it.  We had to get buzzed in through the gate before we could even get to the front door.  They had a uniformed security officer at the reception desk.  It's a cosmetics company.  I wasn't aware that they had to protect themselves that much.  And yet, they let me take as many photos and videos of their equipment as I wanted.  So weirdly contradictory.

The equipment was pretty impressive.  The engineering technician who took us around the plant had nothing but good things to say.  The last 4 new pieces that they bought were from this vendor, so that's a telltale sign.  We got a good look around, and then we left, just as the rain started.

No hail.  No downbursts.  Less than 24 hours and I was out of there.

"The sun will shine from time to time, oh when you dream of me yeah"

When Front Row Becomes Back Row

It's a sad day when you realize that you've lost your concert legs.  Oh man.  I used to be able to stand for hours and hours to watch and listen to singers and bands perform.  It's also sad when you can't really remember the last time you went to a concert.  Well, at least I've been able to remedy that one.

I was fortunate enough to see the Lumineers yesterday.  My friend and I arrived a little late, or so I thought, and I figured we had missed the opening act.  But we didn't.  They were a band called You Won't, who unfortunately didn't endear themselves early on when they introduced themselves as a band from Boston, Massachusetts.  After the smattering of boos, he asked "What, is it a hockey thing?"  The band was made up of two guys.  The lead singer played the guitar mostly.  The other member played pretty much everything else, and simultaneously.  He played the drums and the harmonica at the same time, or the synthesizer and the drums and the tambourine.  And he sang back up.  I'd never heard of them before, so I listened to the first 20 seconds of some of their songs before I went downtown.  I thought they sounded okay.  In the live situation, it was a little different.  There wasn't much interest from the audience (the girl in front of me started checking the hockey scores on her phone).  The low point came when the lead singer started playing on wind chimes.  But they played their best song (in my opinion) last, so it ended okay for me.

A forest of tall people sprouted up in front of me between the opening act and the headliners.  We were in the general admission pit so the sight lines from further back weren't the best to start with.  There was one tall guy who spent the majority of the night making out with his girl.  Not exactly what I came here to see.  But the good thing was that his girl was short, so he had to bend down, which meant that I could see better.  Always an up side.

The Lumineers are such a sing-along band, which of course makes them great to see live.  And they really do want everyone to enjoy the songs.  As they were about to get to the chorus of "Ho Hey", they all stopped together and the lead singer asked everyone to put away their cell phones and recording devices and just enjoy the song.  Awesome.  Most people complied, but there were still some who ignored the request.  They played some songs from their album, along with ones I didn't recognize and a new song here and there.  Neyla got a fantastic response when she sang solo on part of a new song.

At the end of the set, I wasn't sure if they were going to do an encore.  But sure enough they came out to play again.  After the first encore song, I was abruptly shoved by the girl next to me.  But that was only because she had been abruptly shoved as the gates around the soundboard burst open and an army of security guys surged out, flashlights in their mouths, holding various wooden boxes, microphones, and a drum.  They made their way out to the middle of the crowd and set up a makeshift stage.  Suddenly we weren't so far away from the band anymore.  Someone behind me laughed and said all those people at the front row must be pissed because they're now suddenly the back row.  The band wanted to play the first song completely unplugged (no mics either).  It took forever for the room to quiet down, but it was worth it.  So cool.  They played another song with the mics before they went back to the stage and finished off the encore.

And then it was over.  We waded through a sea of empty (and not so empty) beer cans and out into the night.  As we drove out, we passed by, of all things, a music video shoot.  It was clearly a rap video.  The guy (whom I didn't recognize) was sitting on top of a bus shelter, surrounded by bottles of champagne, while a chick was standing on the sidewalk with an umbrella.  Now I'll be watching for that video all the time...

"So keep your head up, keep your love"