The Feel-Good Moment of the Season:

I was finally able to complete one of my pre-New Year's resolutions. I'm afraid that eating all the chocolate I own before the year is out is not going to happen (I have quite a way to go and two days in which to accomplish my goal), but I was able to go to the Daily Bread Food Bank yesterday to help sort food for the needy. And surprisingly enough, this kind of manual labour was really fun. I went with Emily and her church friends, so there were maybe ten or twelve of us. I knew a few people, so it made it less awkward. After receiving instruction, we got to work. The one thing that impressed me was how well everything was organized. They had 17 categories of food items, all arranged in alphabetical order around a group of tables. We had people date-labelling the food, people sorting the food according to which side the boxes were on, and people boxing the food and putting them on the trolley. The time went by so fast, and suddenly we realized that we had sorted 4 or 5 skids in two hours. Food was flying back and forth, since we kept mixing up baked beans with plain beans, and dry pasta with noodles with soup. And what exactly counts as a significantly dented can? It also amazes me the kinds of things that people donate to the food bank. We found a bagful of old chocolate Easter eggs and bunnies. There was one bunny that wouldn't fit in the box even if the box was empty. We checked with one of the people in charge, who took one look at it and said "Garbage". Honestly, I don't think starving people are interested in Easter chocolate. We also kept getting lollypops and gumballs. File those under "Snacks", I guess.

It was such a great experience, I encourage all of you to try it at least once. And go with a group, it's much more fun with people you know. I can't wait for Easter.

"Help me if you can I'm feeling down, and I do appreciate you being round, help me get my feet back on the ground"

Storytelling:

Last night, I stayed up nice and late and watched "High Fidelity". Now, I love this movie for several reasons: 1) John Cusack; 2) it contains one of my favourite scenes of all time, which is the fantasy sequence where the shy quiet guy beats the crap out of the neo-hippie with a telephone and an air conditioner unit; 3) the music kicks ass; 4) for the most part, the lead character is telling you his story directly, except once in a while you get to see the action first hand. You get to see his perspective, his view on life and love and all the crap that happens along the way.

Today, my bros and I got to see the full version of "Big Fish". Basically, the lead character in this movie also tells stories about his life, except the accuracy of the facts is not entirely reliable. But they're really interesting stories, even if they didn't really happen. I guess the reason why I like these movies so much is because I love to tell stories too. I suppose that's evident by this blog of mine. So...yeah. Storytelling. Good. That's all I have to say about that.

On an almost unrelated note, I miss my friend Leo. I got to see him yesterday at a get-together with other high school people that I haven't seen in ages. He makes me laugh just by standing there, but he makes me laugh even harder when he tells his stories. Whether it's about his cheerleading days or his first hand experiences with Viagra, I can always count on Leo for a good story.

Lesson of the Day: I shouldn't drink red wine at a party. Or in public for that matter.

"Shadows grow so long before my eyes, and they're moving across the page"

Weirdos At The Door:

This is could possibly be construed as a cautionary tale. Or it could be funny. Depends on your point of view.

My cousin Ellen called me just a little while ago. She's at home by herself (well, my grandfather is there too, but basically she's there to look after him as opposed to the other way around). Someone rang her doorbell. She guessed that her sister had returned home and forgotten her key. As she approached the door, she noticed it was a man, so maybe it was her father. But her father isn't six feet tall with grey hair. As she was about to open the door, the person outside started trying to open the door. That made her stop and begin to freak out. Who is this weirdo? So she backed off into the kitchen and waited. After maybe ten minutes of constant bell ringing and knocking, the guy left. That's when she called me. We figured things were okay, except he came back and started knocking and ringing the bell again. She really began to freak out, so I gave her the number of our family friend (where our parents were playing MJ) and told her to call the police in addition to her parents.

After several minutes, she called me back. The 911 operator had instructed her to talk to the man through the door. It turns out that the man was her sister's friend's father, and he was looking for his son. I'm not sure about the details, but it was something like he was supposed to come and pick up his son but wasn't sure of the correct time or place. So she informed him that they had gone out and hadn't returned yet. And as far as I know, he left.

Man, Ellen was freaking out. She had even armed herself with a kitchen knife. To be honest, I would have been pretty scared too if I were in her situation. Unfortunately, my uncle and aunt are probably speeding back to their house right now, freaking out even more so than Ellen. In any case, it's good that everything turned out to be non-hostile. But seriously, what kind of person tries to open the door while they're waiting for someone to answer it?

"Every bond you break, every step you take, I'll be watching you"

A Keira Knightley Kind of Christmas:

Merry Christmas to one and all! I hope your holiday festivities are proceeding nicely. It's been interesting so far for me. Bucking tradition, my family and my uncle's family went to a Chinese buffet for dinner last night. There's nothing like watching adults jousting each other with tongs while trying to grab the best crab legs to put you in the holiday mood.

Today started out pretty normally. We opened the few presents that were under the tree. My cousins gave my brothers the same sweaters that I had bought for them. After lunch, my mom offered to treat us to a movie, so we took the money and headed to the theatre. Twenty minutes in "Big Fish", the picture suddenly turned upside-down and played backwards. Given that this is an unusual kind of film, the audience thought that either this was part of the movie or someone in the booth would fix it eventually. After about five minutes, people went out to get the manager, and it turns out that yes, some yahoo had loaded the reel upside-down and backwards. They wouldn't be able to fix it for this showing, but it would be ready at the next showing at 4pm. In the meantime, everyone in the theatre would receive two free tickets to any movie they wanted. So we postponed "Big Fish" for tomorrow and went straight to the video store and rented "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "Bend It Like Beckham". Not too shabby for one day.

And now, a great excerpt from our car conversation:

Steve: "So nothing's open today?"
Me: "Nope."
Steve: "Not even the 24-hour drug stores?"
Me: "Well, maybe a couple of them, but I don't know which ones."
Steve (in a high whiney voice): "But what if I need condoms and penicillin?"
Me: "I don't think you'll likely be fighting an infection while having sex anytime soon." (I start laughing)
Steve: "Hey...it's not funny when it happens."

"Feelin' hot hot hot!"

A Dirty Experience:

Eww, eww, eww. It's been several hours but I still feel yucky. My friends and I were having dinner at JJ Muggs last night. There was a table of men near us who were having some sort of Christmas party, I would assume, given the steady stream of libations that kept arriving at their table. During the course of our meal, Emily and I (since we were facing their direction) noticed that they kept looking over at us. We chose to ignore them. There were a couple of times when I believe I saw them taking photos of us. That alone was pretty creepy. Finally, they were getting up to leave, and a couple of them came up to our table. One approached my side and asked if he and his friends could buy us some drinks. I declined. He tried again, saying that it was Christmas and what's the big deal about them buying us drinks, and I declined again, and then got distracted by what was happening at the other side of our table. Another guy was trying to get Em to tell him her name. She was getting upset, but remained civil. Finally Ada said in a clearly annoyed tone, "Would you please just leave?" The guy seemed kind of indignant and said, "Why?" She replied, "Because I asked you nicely." He had no response for that, so he just left. The whole group of them stood around, possibly waiting for us to leave, however our waitress had not returned with the bill so we just sat there and ignored them until they left.

Now, I suppose the whole idea could be viewed as kind of flattering. And I guess it would have been, IF THE GUYS WEREN'T THE SAME AGE AS MY FATHER. Eww, eww, eww! I mean, I've passed by dirty old men in the street, but I've never actually had to deal with any in a family restaurant before. How old did they think we were? I still get carded at the liquor store, so I would guess that most people think I look younger than I really am. And I was with Laboni, who can still get away with paying child admission in some places.

That sound you hear is me shuddering violently.

"You can look but you can't touch, I don't think I like you much"

Why Was He Born So Pitiful, Why Was He Born At All?:

I had the rare pleasure of being in a U of T dominated pub last night with a group of people from Mac and Ryerson. Needless to say, it felt a little strange. The place was packed with predominantly caucasian kids being somewhat rowdy, most likely celebrating the end of exams or whatnot. Every so often a group would start singing some kind of drinking or school spirit song. They were very enthusiastic, I'll give them that. The only problem was that I couldn't understand a word they were saying. Other than a "hey!" or a "yeah!", it was really hard to tell who they were singing about or why they were singing at all. I thought back to my days in Waterloo Engineering, and there was always that one song that everyone knew that would single out some poor shlub who, at the end of the song, would have to chug his or her drink while everyone chanted. The first time I heard that song was during Frosh Week, and I was able to pick up the words after the first rendition. So it was kind of disheartening to see and hear those guys last night who, despite being very vocal and very passionate about St. Mike's, didn't do justice to the grand tradition of university drinking songs. I don't know, maybe I'm being too particular about it. But I would imagine that people sing these songs not just to unite with their friends, but also other people who may eventually want to join in at some point.

In other news, I was at Joe Badali's last night for dinner, and we were walking to our table when I glanced to my right and saw Mike "Pinball" Clemens sitting at a nearby table with other very large men in suits who were most likely also football-related people. That was quite exciting in a "Toronto celebrity" kind of way. Sort of similar to the time I passed by Tie Domi in a parking lot after a Leafs game.

"I walks with you, I talks with you, I still can't help thinking"

Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap Crap:

I just donated $35 to the world. I don't think I could feel any stupider. My father had given me the money for gas. It must have fallen out of my pocket as I was going about my business, doing errands. I didn't even notice the money was gone until I came home because I had used my credit card at the gas station. So, somewhere out there in the land of Etobicoke, someone is getting a nice Christmas bonus.

"I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me"

An Interesting Exercise:

Things have been picking up in the job search department. I had an interview with a pharmaceutical company on Monday that went...okay. I could have done better, but that's life. The fact that they called me for an interview at all has lifted my spirits a little. On Wednesday I got a call from another pharma company who wanted me to come in and write a test. Test? What sort of test? The HR rep tells me it's general math and english, high school level stuff. So basically there's no way to prepare. And high school level math?? That may sound like a walk in the park, but after several years of complicated math, I haven't looked at the easy stuff for a long time. So despite all my efforts to stay positive and optimistic, I still felt kind of nervous this morning as I drove across town in the driving snow during rush hour. Almost being side-swiped by a van didn't really help (although I did forget about the test for a split second).

I should know better by now. First of all, there were maybe 24 people in the room with me, the majority of whom were around twice my age. Secondly, the majority of the people who were also writing the test 1) belonged to a visible minority, and 2) were applying for production jobs. So what did this mean? It was a really basic math test. What's this plus this? What's 7% of this number? If I have this many kilograms of pills, each with an average weight of this, how many pills do I have? No sweat.

The english portion was kind of funny. The first part was simple written communciation. There were three scenarios and we had to write a paragraph about how we would go about doing it. The first was about addressing an envelope for a letter you were going to mail. I couldn't think about it without giggling, let alone write about it. The second was about a fire alarm that goes off in the building. That was a little iffy. The third was to describe how you would go about taking the bus or subway to the company. I decided to go with the third one, based on the fact that I could actually see myself doing it. Not that I couldn't see myself in a fire alarm situation, but that one could have things attached to it, especially in a pharmaceutical environment, that involve more than just exiting the building.

The other parts of the english test were just about reading comprehension. There was a little story, and then there were some sample documents and you just had to describe things in your own words or find specific information. They said that you need to have at least 70% in both sections to pass. I haven't felt this good about a test in years.

So in both cases, they're going to get back to me by early January. And I just got an e-mail from a classmate today about an opening at her place of work (also a pharma company) in Montreal. Looks like the law of averages is kicking in.

"Oh no, she's not a secret now"

Oh No, You Don't Get Off That Easy...:

The past few days have been filled with social activity. Hooray! I have the semblance of a life!

Thursday, I went to Second City with Jocelyn to see a couple of her Laurier friends perform some improv. Their group, Calibre:Gros, was really good. We were sitting next to Alex's mom, and she defintely enjoyed it, even when they made some references to Alex's circumsized status.

Today, I made a little pit stop at MEC and got myself some early Christmas presents. My brothers got me a climbing harness (thanks guys!) and my parents got me some rock shoes (thanks Mom and Dad!). I even gave myself the gift of a chalkbag and chalk (thanks me!). Then I met up with Howie and we made our way through cold streets and detoured streetcars to Joe Rockhead's. After my confidence-crushing experience at Rock Oasis, I was glad to be back where I could make it to the top of several walls, and I got to use my own equipment (no more rental shoes for me!). The best part was that I didn't strain myself the way I did last time. Other than a little knee scrape, I was doing okay. Someone must have noticed that, because no sooner had we finished and I stepped into the changeroom, I jammed my thumb. I guess they weren't going to let me get away injury-free.

Tomorrow, Jocelyn and I will make another jaunt downtown to Aphasia's CD release party. We'll be there supporting her friend Stephany (the bassist). So exciting! It's great to see people you know on a stage. If you're in the neighbourhood of the 360 Club, come check it out! I have to admit, the guys look a little scary on their website, but their music is pretty good. I would suggest wearing black.

"I will let you down, I will make you hurt"

Ding Dong...

Who could that be? A UPS guy? Oooookay...

For me? Who could be sending me a package? From Paris Ontario??

Well, what do you know? I won something! But of course, with the literally dozens of contests I enter at any given time, what exactly did I do to win this thing? Ah...it's from that Toronto tourism propaganda blitz that happened this summer to lure people back after SARS. Apparently, I won the fifth prize. They even sent me the waiver with the skill testing question on it (the answer is 55). My prize? Two extremely large T-shirts, valued at approximately $20. It's funny, because according to the rules and regulations, I sent in the contest form a couple of days late (it was a weird situation...the way they had it there was no way I could have completed the form and sent it in on time). I guess my little note of explanation did the trick.

"We'll be singing when we're winning"