Which Came First, The Bad Idea Or Me Befallen By It?

I don't know why I kept thinking of this Matthew Good song these past few months. It's not like the song has anything to do with surprise parties. Or maybe it does. I'll have to go back and listen to it again. But what am I talking about? OH YES...the REAL surprise party, the one that we'd been planning for the past 3 months, the one that finally happened yesterday, the one that we had to cover up with a "fake" surprise party last week.

BSF: Bring Several Friends. At least that's what Jocelyn thought was going to happen when we found out that Em's parents were going to be decidedly out of the country and we were going to recapture some lost youth. In reality, it became BSJF: Bring Several of Jocelyn's Friends. People we had not seen in ages, and people we had never seen at all. It took some major sleuthing and lucky coincidences to put this thing together. I was told at the party that I should have been a party planner. To be honest, I just have a knack for organizing almost anything. Okay, my room might be evidence to the contrary, but when it comes to big groups of people and a single event, then yeah, I'm not too shabby.

Alert Status Red, But The Sun Comes Up Instead:

The problems...and boy did we have some doozies. I have decided that the worst possible words to hear when planning a surprise party are these: "Hey, why don't we use Evite?" Thanks Jocelyn, good idea. How were we supposed to secretly invite people when she could see everyone we invited? Solution: fake Evite. Create an invitation solely for the benefit of Jocelyn. Turn the privacy mode on full blast so that nobody could see anybody else's info, ESPECIALLY their e-mail addresses. Create 15 fake e-mail addresses for 15 fake invitees. Have a minor aneurysm when, just before the ball gets rolling, ownership of the fake invitation gets transferred to a fake guest. Every day, manipulate the guest responses so that it looks like Rehmat is a "maybe" and Tess is bringing the Shrinky Dinks (for the record, I did not make up that response). Meanwhile, send the real invitation out to a bunch of people who have little idea who I am, ask them to invite others, watch as the guest list balloons fantastically out of control, then even itself out when half of the invitees back out or don't respond.

Party planning: Uh...no Jocelyn, we haven't started the planning yet. Uh...no Jocelyn, I think we should wait for Emily to return from the cottage. Uh...no Jocelyn, you don't have to bring anything. After all, you're going to be at a bridal shower in the afternoon. Uh...don't worry about it Jocelyn, we'll take care of the food and we'll just split the bill later.

Oh wait...the fake surprise party. Some of the people at the fake surprise party are supposedly coming to the BSF. What if someone brings up the topic? Solution: get to the restaurant early, provide everyone with their alibis. For the third time, Chris, you said YES.

And now, for the party: Jocelyn arrived before most of the surprise guests, so crisis control kicked in and people had to hide around the side of the house for 15-20 minutes, partially sprayed by the lawn sprinkler, until we regrouped, kicked Jocelyn out of the kitchen, and finally got the festivities started with "Jocelyn, This Is Your Life!", a plan that got cooked up about 5 seconds before it was executed. Why can't I think on my feet like this in other situations??

The Only Place To Find Freedom Is In The Dictionary Under "F":

So in the end, Jocelyn was completely and utterly surprised to the point of helpless confusion. It was a success. And now I can breathe. For a couple of weeks, anyway...

"Beneath the ancient sand lies crushed and tanned those sapphire girls"