I said a little while ago that the more things change, the more you realize things are changing. At the same time, some things are forever frozen in time. In this case, it's friendship. It's a rare thing to be able to pick up where you left off ten years ago. But there we were, the EVIL, reunited and having adventures just like we used to. Except this time we were wandering around in the forest, running out of Smarties, attempting to cross a swamp without getting dirty, encountering deer without hitting them with a car, somehow finding ourselves on the other side of the highway, and being honked at as we walked along the side of the road littered with, among other things, discarded toupees. Good times.

My mother is desperately determined to get rid of my beloved turtle. Well, not necessarily beloved, but he's a survivor (he outlasted his two brothers) and he is now the size of...I can't think of anything that could compare, but let's just say that he's damned huge. He used to fit neatly in my palm, and now I can't even hold him by the shell with one hand anymore. Poor thing spends his day trying to climb up the glass of the tank. And yet when he's released in the backyard, he doesn't move an inch, even after three hours. Sadly, I'm starting to think that maybe he would be better off in a roomier, more turtle-friendly environment. Anyone interested?

Lesson of the day: There's no such thing as a "simple renovation".

"Here I am, stuck in the middle with you"