Which Way to Look

I really don't know which way to look. With so many things going on, I've hardly had time to blog about my trip! And I've been home for two weeks already.

First things first. South America was awesome. Can't believe how much fun it was. The good news is that my brother and I actually do get along. The bad news is that there are so many stories, I can't think of which ones I can tell here. A lot of spectacular nature and wildlife, some interesting characters that we met, plenty of adventures, and a little hindsight when it came to packing. I've decided that I really like cruising. You spend the day somewhere, you get back on the ship, you go to sleep, and the next day you wake up and you're somewhere else. I think we travelled more than 6,000 km in two weeks. There's food everywhere, but if you take the stairs instead of the elevators, you won't balloon too badly. The only slight downside was that it was definitely an older crowd. But we made the most of it, and it all worked out in the end since, as my brother put it, "Old people seem to like me." I think next time, we'll try something closer to our demographic. (My brother is already planning the "next time". Good sign.)

What else? Trying to organize the photos has been keeping me busy. And I didn't stay put for very long. The week after I came back I packed another bag and spent the weekend at my friend's new house in Brantford. We were even able to take part in Earth Hour, which is something we should be doing more often, in my opinion.

Reality set in pretty quickly once I got back to work. It's almost like they were saving the craziness for when I got back (they weren't, but the illusion is there). It's not all work and no play though. We've celebrated two birthdays already, and look at this, mine is coming up. Which is something that is also taking up a lot of my time. This is the first and likely not the last time I've organized my own birthday party. Well, I'm sure I've hosted parties before, way back in the day, but it's been a long time. And it's never been quite so big before either. Definitely a trial by fire, but if it's successful, I'll be looking forward to doing something like this every year. And so can you.

My list of things to do continues to grow ever longer. I'm back to my original problem: which way to look?

"Head underwater, and they tell me to breathe easy for a while"

What, Already?

Wow, not only has February blown past us, but we're even into overtime. Happy Leap Day everyone!

And before I know it, I'm going to be on a plane, bound for South America! That's right friends, the adventure this time is a two-week cruise around the end of South America, starting in Buenos Aires, Argentina and ending in Santiago, Chile. This will be the first time my brother and I travel together on our own. It will be interesting, for sure.

A lot of recurring patterns are starting to crop up as I continue my travels. First, I acquire the region's alcoholic beverage (I'm generating a very diverse collection). Next, I tend to visit a volcano or mountain (I don't know why I have the desire to climb something while on vacation). And finally, I'm either rushing to or from a wedding (if anyone's getting married in July, please let me know).

"All through my wild days, my mad existence, I kept my promise, don't keep your distance"

Where is the Love?

I have some rather exciting news to share: I've started the application process to become a volunteer at the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. As can be expected, it's rather lengthy, and will require a screening process, interview, RCMP background check, etc. But to have the chance to see the Olympics from behind the scenes? In a word: AWESOME.

But that leads me into a topic that I've been meaning to talk about. Last year, one of my coworkers was on vacation out in the western provinces, and she told me that she did her best to hide the fact that she was from Toronto. When, on one occasion, her origin was revealed, the attitude of the person (who was a retail employee) changed dramatically. She was no longer smiling or friendly. She simply finished the transaction and gave my coworker her purchase.

It's a fairly well known fact that a lot of people in other parts of this country have a strong dislike of people who are from Toronto. My biggest question is: WHY? The most common answer is that they believe people from Toronto think that "Toronto is the centre of the universe". In my entire lifetime, I've never encountered anyone from Toronto who has ever uttered those words, let alone believed them. Other Canadians think that people from Toronto are rude, full of themselves, and unfriendly. Lately, I've heard that they think Toronto has become too much like an "American city": crime-ridden and polluted.

It breaks my heart to hear this kind of thing, because it's come to the point where Canadians are openly prejudiced against other Canadians. Are we not from the same country? Don't we believe in the same principles and values? Aren't we known, as a people, to be open and unbiased? Don't we condemn people who are intolerant of those who simply come from another part of the world, or believe in different things? So why are we treating each other so poorly? I don't understand it at all.

If I were to go to another city, such as Vancouver, and ask someone from that city if they think Vancouver is the best city in the world, what do you think would be the response? But if I say the same thing about Toronto, I would be considered snobbish and arrogant. Personally, I love Vancouver. And Montreal. I really enjoy travelling around this country, and have already visited six of the ten provinces. I've also been to many parts of the world and I love cities like London and Paris. But to me, Toronto will always be home. I can't imagine living anywhere else. Why is that considered a bad thing?

So on this Valentine's Day, I ask everyone to let a little love in, for people from every part of this country. There's just too much hate as it is. Let's start small, and we can figure out the secret to world peace later.

"Now's the time that we need to share, so send a smile, we're on our way back home"

Mission: Implausible

My brother and I went to the mall last weekend to have lunch, pick up a birthday present for my aunt, and generally browse around. On our way home, we stopped to get gas for his car, which we've dubbed "The Beige Beauty". It's falling apart on all sides, most of the interior electronics are fried, and you can hear it coming from blocks away.

Recently, it started making a "new" noise. One would describe it either as rocks tumbling or a drummer persistently playing the high hat. The new noise started up after we filled up, but then abrupted stopped. I didn't think anything other than it was nice to stop drawing attention to ourselves from pedestrians and motorists who had this look on their faces like we were here to destroy them. But then my brother looked down and said, "Um...the engine temperature is quite high." We both looked and saw the needle climbing slowly and steadily higher. Then, as if on cue, the "Check Gauges" light started to flash. We started to get fairly alarmed. Next thing we knew, the "Check Engine" light started to flash urgently. As a stop-gap measure, we cranked up the heat to try and draw some of it from the engine. All we got was really cold air.

So, what do we do here? We were pretty close to home. Stopping on the side of the road for a few minutes wouldn't really do much to cool the engine down. If we tried to speed up to get home faster, it might only serve to overheat the engine faster and we could blow up in the middle of the road. If we slowed down, we might not heat up as quickly, but then we could still blow up in the middle of the road before we got home. We decided to plow onwards, with me on the edge of my seat saying "Please don't blow up" over and over.

We made it home and my brother turned the car off quickly. We popped the hood and looked around. Strangely, nothing was smoking, and the radiator was ice cold.

In the end, it turned out that the fan belt had fallen off somewhere on the road. Most likely at the point when the rocks stopped tumbling. Oh yes, and the water pump had crapped out. Amazingly, my father got both of them replaced at a shop where they didn't try to get him to fix every other thing that was wrong with the car. And so we've breathed new life back into the Beige Beauty. One thing to be said for the cars in my family: all of them end their lives at the dump.

"Stop and stare, I think I'm moving but I go nowhere"

Things Are Looking Up

It's been an interesting year, I think. Lived and learned, laughed and cried, and most recently noted that the world (at least my little part of it) lost quite a number of fathers.

But things are really looking up. The six-month move-out countdown is on (again). I've begun to realize that I am slowly being suffocated here. Not entirely due to parental restrictions, but because I can no longer move around my room on account of the ridiculous quantity of stuff that has accumulated around me. Some of this stuff is old and sentimental, some of it is complete junk that I haven't gotten around to disposing, and some of it is recently acquired for my impending move. Getting out of here will be like getting out of a tightly binding dress...unzip and then I can breathe normally again. Hopefully I can hold it in until then.

The most significant change in my life this year happened recently. There was a person with whom I had corresponded since I was a little girl. More than seven years ago, the correspondence stopped, for reasons that I can't really mention here. Every year since then, and at around the same time, I considered contacting this person - not to pry into their life, but to see how they were doing, and to ask if they would be willing to talk to me again. A couple of weeks ago, I decided, with little to no expectation of success, to write to this person and ask these questions. To my complete surprise and delight, I received a response. I am happy to say that some things were explained, and now we're talking to each other again as we used to do. Out of everything else I did this year, I was so glad that I did this one thing. My philosophy these days is that life is far too short, and there are some things that are just too important to let go.

All this heaviness aside, I'm optimistic that it's really going to be a happy new year. Some extensive travelling might be on the horizon. I'm crossing my fingers that it goes ahead as planned. But what I'm most looking forward to is the part that is completely unanticipated and unknown. The next chapter will start in a moment.

Good luck to all of you, friends and well-wishers, in 2008.

"Watching the whole world wind around and round, I'll be coming home next year"

A Plethora of Emotions

It's been an emotionally draining week.

Excited and Disappointed:

My company's United Way campaign was pretty competitive this year. The challenge of being the department that raises the most amount of money with the Change Jar was compounded by the "Amazing Race" challenge that was open to any team of four people. The campaign officially ended last Wednesday, but we had to wait until Friday to find out who won both competitions. (Fast forward - my team ended up winning the Amazing Race, but my department lost the Change Jar challenge)

Shocked and Infuriated:

On Hallowe'en, my director, who's also a good friend, got the call that her father had had a heart attack. She raced out of the office, and I had never seen her this emotional. The next day, we found out that not only had her father passed away, but the father of the director of Technical Services also passed away the same day. Due to his customs, the funeral was held within 24 hours. However, upper management decided to restrict the number of people who could attend, which made some people rather upset. How could one person, just by virtue of being in the same department, represent other people who have known the director for years and who eat lunch with him every day? In the case of my director, the visitation was held at two different times on Friday, the first of which was from 2pm to 4pm, and the second from 6pm to 8pm. Again, management made it a point to say that it wasn't ideal for the whole department to go at the same time. Who's to say that you can't go and support a close friend and colleague in their time of grief? In the grand scheme of things, life is a little more important than work. And it wasn't as though they were taking advantage of the company. Some of the people decided to go to the earlier visitation and then came back and stayed late to make up the time. There was even some direct confrontation about this subject. I wasn't as involved in this as some of my coworkers, but it was sad to see where certain people set their priorities.

Delighted and Overwhelmed:

One of my biggest guilts this week was that I wouldn't be able to go to the funeral on Saturday. That was because I would be in Michigan on a shopping trip. My friend knew a group of ladies who were going to Auburn Hills, MI for a girls-only shopping extravaganza. Of course I was in, and in an uncharacteristic moment of spontaneity, we convinced another friend to grab a change of clothes and a toothbrush and come along for the ride. We were headed to Great Lakes Crossing, which is a gigantic outlet mall. The US Customs Officer asked us where we were shopping, and when we told him he commented, "That's hard core." The others were only planning on staying one night and going home after a long day of shopping on Saturday. But my friend and I decided to find another hotel room and stay until Sunday to ensure that we'd make the most of our quota. In a strange and wonderful twist of fate, we were able to score a discounted rate at a nearby hotel by taking a defective room. The defects were that the heating system was a little wonky, the window was jammed open in an attempt to rectify the problem, and there was no desk chair or mini-fridge. But to me, it was a perfectly decent room, and I didn't find it hot or cold at all.

In the morning we headed up to the Prime Outlet in Birch Run, which is just north of Flint. While Great Lakes Crossing was an indoor mall, Prime is not. We had a LOT of ground to cover, and a deadline, since we wanted to hit one more mall before closing time at 6pm. We did our homework the night before and marked all the stores we wanted to go to on the map. Unfortunately, we were a little slow at the start, so we were in a mad rush near 4pm. On our way back towards Flint, I realized that I didn't write down the directions to the last mall. I was going purely on memory and instinct. And a few well-placed road signs. We found the mall and dashed into a couple of stores. Our time ran out and we didn't get everything we wanted, but we were able to go into overtime at the bookstore, which didn't close until 9pm.

Crossing the border at Sarnia was not the nightmare I had envisioned. We were only waiting for about 40 minutes, and the officer asked us exactly three questions ("Where are you from?", "How long were you in the US?", "Approximately how much did you purchase?") and ending with, "Have a nice night."

After a couple of detours for food and gas, and stopping at our Spontaneous Friend's house to talk briefly and to pick up my friend's car, I didn't reach home until about 12:30am. I spent just under the $400 limit. I am immensely satisfied, and yet still have a little craving for more...

"Hold on to what you've been given lately, hold on cos the world will turn if you're ready or not"

Stars and Numbers

Film fest has come and gone for another year. The stats I racked up are really quite impressive. I worked 7 shifts, earned 11 pinks, saw 9 films (only two of which were during/after my shift), encountered at least 12 famous/semi-famous people, all without missing a single day of work. I even managed to attend a seminar.

What did I see:

• Terra - a CG animated film that seems a little too heavy for kids...war, genocide, environmental terrorism, etc. But the little tadpole aliens are cute.
• When Did You Last See Your Father? - a story about fathers and sons and the relationship between the two. Colin Firth and Jim Broadbent were great, and it made my guy-friend a little teary.
• Across the Universe - a film featuring a wide selection of the Beatles' repertoire, which is perfect for me. The beginning was great, the middle was a psychedelic acid trip, but the end was also great. A thoroughly predictable film, but experiencing Bono singing "I am the Walrus" was utterly bizarre.
• The Jane Austen Book Club - it inspired me to continue my current goal of reading all six of her novels. A funny film where the lives of six members of a book club mirror the plots in Jane Austen's novels.
• And Along Come Tourists - a German man serves his mandatory one-year civil service at Auschwitz. It doesn't focus on the camp at all, but rather the people who live in the nearby town in the present day. Very thought-provoking.
• Iron Ladies of Liberia - Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf is the first elected female head of state in Africa. The documentary follows her during her first year in office. A tough job for anyone after 14 years of civil war. Good thing she appoints other women to help her out.
• Caramel - a surprising Lebanese film. Much funnier than I thought it would be. Four women who work in a beauty salon in Beirut have four very different life challenges.
• Le Voyage du Ballon Rouge - a remake of the classic film starring Juliette Binoche. I still don't get the ending.
• Angel - a poor arrogant girl becomes rich and famous by writing ridiculous romantic novels in early 20th century England. Very reminiscent of Gone with the Wind. But I kept waiting for something to happen.

Who did I see:

• I nearly saw Viggo Mortensen at the airport. He's apparently much shorter and older than you'd think.
• Danny Glover spoke to me (he said "Thank you"). I just think it's cool because it was completely unexpected.
• I was five feet away from Ewan MacGregor as he got into a car, but I didn't recognize him. His hair was all over the place and he looked surly, but I guess that's because he just got off a plane from London.
• The most surreal moment was when I saw Deepa Mehta (director of "Water" and "Bollywood/Hollywood"), in a beautiful yellow sari, getting in line for popcorn.
• From a fair distance, I saw a huge mob of people outside a toy store near Yorkville, and, without even bothering to cross the street, I was willing to bet any money that Angelina Jolie was in there (I was right).
• I saw Christopher Plummer two days in a row. I still dig him as Captain Von Trapp.

There were two rather humorous trends this year: 1) Four of the films I saw featured a lesbian or implied lesbianism, and 2) at each screening I attended, there was at least one person in the theatre who would say "ARRRR!" when the anti-piracy statement flashed on the screen before the film. Hee hee, pirates...

Final thought: Colin Farrell may not be quite as bad-ass as he seems.

"I'm sick and tired of everybody, thinking they know what's best for me and, maybe I wanted me to be nothing special"

Observations

I originally wrote this blog on August 11 but I never got around to publishing it. Better late than never I guess...

I was walking through a department store, and I noticed that they had set up a huge display of chocolate right beside the swimsuits.

I saw a pedestrian get hit by a car today. I was waiting at a traffic light, not really paying attention to anything, when I heard a "whump!" sound, and looked up to see a woman toppling into the middle of the street on the other side of the intersection. At first, I asked myself if the woman had just fallen out of the minivan that had stopped. But seeing a younger woman jumping out of the driver side of the minivan and checking on the middle-aged woman in the street gave me the impression that the minivan had been turning left and didn't see the woman crossing. It was a low-speed impact and the middle-aged woman was conscious, but it was still a semi-shocking experience. When the light turned green, I was in the right lane and there were cars behind me. It wasn't a hit and run, and there were far more accurate witnesses on the opposite side of the street, so I drove slowly past the scene, where the younger woman was retrieving the middle-aged woman's purse from the middle lane.

I've discovered that I leave destruction in my wake when I pass through Europe. Two years ago, I went to London, and just over a month after I returned, the bombs went off. This year, I went to Greece, and a month later, the worst forest fire in the country's history started and killed almost 80 people. Not to mention the fact that my friend and I narrowly escaped from the tuberculosis guy in Santorini. Maybe I shouldn't go to Europe for a while.

"Hey flathead don't you mean she's the second best killer that I ever have seen"

Denied!

I've returned from Aurora, Illinois. It was fun, despite having to work and not really getting to see the sights. I honestly didn't have many expectations about seeing all the landmarks shown in the movie, for a few reasons:

1) Stan Mikita's Donuts doesn't exist. And the large statue of the hockey player is standing on Richard Dean Anderson's driveway. (Strange coincidence: in terms of the REAL donut shop Tim Horton's, one thing I learned during my trip is that there's a franchise in Toledo, Ohio! Excellent!)

2) The big spike that's impaling the cars (a.k.a. the "Spindle") is actually in Berwyn IL. It's another suburb of Chicago, and I'm sure we passed through it at some point, but I also heard that the sculpture's been dismantled to make way for a Walgreens.

3) Most of "downtown Aurora" was filmed in Covina, California.

4) Gasworks doesn't exist in Aurora or in Toronto (anymore).

Not to mention the fact that we were mostly in Naperville, which is next to Aurora. It's a happenin' place...not!

Oh well, I still got to go to Chicago for a little bit, get wined and dined by the vendor reps, had a big hotel room all to myself, and didn't have to pay for anything. Except the tolls. The guys just didn't seem to have any change on them at any given moment.

"And the man at the back said 'Everyone attack' and it turned into a ballroom blitz"

My Small Part

I have to say, Live Earth was a good idea, and it totally kicked my ass into gear. I thought that I was perhaps average in terms of being environmentally conscious. I recycle everything that I can, I try not to waste anything, and I know that global warming is for real. There is hardly a single light bulb in my house that isn't compact fluorescent. Recently, I decided to offset the carbon emissions from my trip to Greece. I have friends and family who are far more eco-friendly than I, but I listen and learn from them.

Now, after experiencing 24 hours of environmentalism set to music, I realized that I either consciously or subconsciously took a few actions throughout the day to do my small part. I haven't turned the air conditioner on in the past two days, even though it was over 30°C today (actually, this little step showed me that my house is REALLY well insulated!). When I went to buy groceries this afternoon, I bought a reusable bag. I didn't really turn any lights on during the day. I turned my computer off this morning instead of leaving it on.

I know this all sounds like I'm jumping on the bandwagon or buying into the hype, but I do feel like I'm doing something worthwhile. I'm also kind of ashamed that it took a monumental rock concert to motivate me. But I suppose that was the whole point. And now I'll do one more thing in my new quest to save the world: I'll ask you to help.

As for the concerts, I learned a lot from them too. Sneaky Sound System is a very cool band.

"I'll send an SOS to the world"

I'm Not Worthy

Something exciting is happening at work. It is quite possible that I'm going on my first business trip.

Okay, it's not my VERY first business trip. My first business trip was back in my co-op days, when I was entrusted to drive a rented minivan carrying a rather important and expensive piece of gadgetry that needed to be tested IMMEDIATELY and since our testing equipment bit the big one, the only other place we could test it was in Ottawa. Oh yeah, and I had to drive the technician too. And I had about two hours' notice before I had to run home, pack an overnight bag, and head out into rush-hour traffic.

This time, however, I have about two weeks to prep for it, I'm probably going to fly there (it's in the States), and all I really have to do is watch and learn how the equipment works. It's really cool too...possibly the coolest thing we're going to have at our facility. And yet, that's NOT the part that truly excites me. What is making me stupidly giddy is that the company that manufactures this equipment is located in Aurora, Illinois.

Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?

That's right my friends, I'm going to Wayne's World!

Party on!

(Stay tuned...)

"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"

Thoughts on a Summer's Eve

Which would you prefer? Death by shrimp, or death by a flaming log to the head? Death by flaming log to the head would definitely be memorable. People would probably talk about it for ages. But chances are, it'll be unexpected. On the other hand, you could probably enjoy yourself for a while before dying by excessive shrimp consumption. Who doesn't like stuffing themselves with tasty crustaceans?

If you think about all the planes that take off at every airport in the world at any given moment, it'd be safe to assume that there are a lot of planes up there. So why is it that you hardly ever see another plane when you're flying in one? I'm not even talking about near misses (because you KNOW there has to be a few here and there). They don't even pass each other from a distance. Doesn't the captain always say that we're cruising at 35,000 feet? Where's "da plane, boss! Da plane!"?

"Myself and I, we've got some straightenin' out to do"

I'm Still on the Boat

The Greek Odyssey is over. I have returned, a tiny bit tanned and full of olives. Oh man, so many olives...

Overall, it was a fabulous time. Being in the presence of structures that are more than 2000 years old was inspiring. And what they say is true: you can see the most amazing sunsets from Oia. As usual, there were things that I learned, things that made me think a little, and things that totally puzzled me. Among them:

On our plane, there was a series of coloured lights right above our seats that would light up every time we heard a brief doorbell ring. We figured it was a signal to the attendants in terms of what they had to do next, such as serve the drinks or start the movie. In the row of lights, there was a red, yellowish orange, and a green light, but they were flanked on both sides by dark lights. I knew one of them was blue, but I thought the other one must be a colour other than blue, so I asked my friend, "Does the light on the end look like a black light?" She replied, "Maybe. What do you think it means?" "I don't know, death?" I realized right after I said it that perhaps that wasn't the best thing to think about as we were flying 35,000 feet above the Atlantic in the middle of the night. But every time the doorbell rang, we looked up to see which light had turned on, just in case.

After taking three high speed ferries within five days, it took a while for both of us to stop feeling like we were constantly swaying. For me, it happened almost every time we sat down to eat, which is not ideal when you're trying to enjoy your moussaka.

There is no such thing as a "pedestrian street" anywhere in Greece. No matter how narrow you might think it is, if a truck can drive through it, a truck WILL drive through it, even if it has to scrape against the jewelery display rack.

There are a lot of headless statues.

Ouzo is not bad. Even if you don't like licorice, it's quite refreshing. On the other hand, I would not recommend drinking more than 100 mL of raki by yourself. Or while you're in Oia. It's just not a good idea to lose your balance there.

The majority of European taxi drivers are maniacs.

The Parthenon in Athens has been undergoing restoration for years, even decades. As a result, there's scaffolding and heavy machinery everywhere, making it impossible to take a decent photo. Surprisingly and sadly, it looks much better at night.

I was flipping channels one night and found the Greek version of "So You Think You Can Dance". I've gotten hooked to the US version, so I watched it for a bit. It's very different, in three ways: 1) All the contestants look exactly the same, 2) the audience does nothing but applaud (i.e., there's no booing and very little cheering), and 3) there was absolutely no way I could tell by the facial expressions of the judges or the performers if they were giving/receiving a good review or not. There was basically no emotion on either side. The lack of booing didn't help either.

You're not allowed to be born or die on the island of Delos. Good place to visit.

For most of the statues and buildings that you see outdoors in Athens, chances are you're looking at something fake. They've taken everything real into museums and put replicas in their place.

Final verdict: Greece is definitely the word. If anyone wants to go, I'd be ready and willing to do it again. I only just scratched the surface.

Lesson of the day: Beware the black light of death.

"Flames to dust, lovers to friends, why do all good things come to an end?"

Jet Set

In approximately 24 hours, two things will happen:

1) One of my high-school friends will be married, and
2) I will be on the verge of landing in London.

The sting has effectively worn off (see previous blog). There's nothing left but excitement and a tiny bit of apprehension as I play the "What Am I Forgetting???" game. Not a fun game, unfortunately.

Does it always feel strange when it's finally time to go on a vacation you've planned for a long time? For me, it happens every time. It's not just a happy anticipation feeling, it's something else that I can't quite describe. And it only occurs in the moments before I leave. The second I get on the plane, it's vacation mode all the way. Maybe the feeling will go away as I continue to go on vacation more often. That's it...I just need more practice.

So, I'm signing off for now. In about 36 hours, I'll be in Athens. Opa!

"Sun is in the sky, oh why, oh why would I wanna be anywhere else?"

My Mighty Heart is Breaking

I don't even know if I can write this blog without suffering some kind of emotional breakdown. Just thinking about this is already making me a little teary...

After years and years and years of entering just about every kind of contest out there, today was the day I got the call from a local radio station, telling me that I had won.

And I had to turn them down.

Now, how big of an idiot am I? You tell me: I won a two-week trip for two to the Cannes Film Festival. Why did I turn them down? I'm going to Greece on Saturday, and the trip would require me to leave from here next Wednesday. No alternatives, no substitutes. It was an on-the-spot, take-it-or-leave-it call.

If you're like my coworkers (who, by the way, witnessed me screaming into the phone in the middle of the office), you're probably telling me that I should have dumped my Greece trip and gone on the Cannes trip. There are a lot of reasons why I couldn't do it. Cost, surprisingly, really wasn't the first thing that came to my mind. Even though I would have lost the entire value of two sets of plane tickets, not to mention a lot of hotel cancellation fees, it probably wouldn't have added up to the cost of the prize. I couldn't abandon my friend. It's not that I wouldn't have asked her to come with me (that would be REALLY mean!). There was really no way to adjust her schedule in order fit the prize dates. Otherwise, I probably would have been going on my Greece trip starting next Wednesday anyway.

They say there's a reason for everything. I believe that. Even though there are probably very few people in the world who would have wanted this trip more than I did, I'm sure that everything is playing out in a way that will lead me to where I'm eventually supposed to go. I'm taking the long way, but so be it. I've already entered the next contest in the series, but once again I'm flirting with disaster, because the prize draw date will occur while I'm still out of the country. Maybe that's the trick - entering contests with wild abandon will increase your chances of winning. It could explain why my friend's brother always wins. Anyway, no matter what I say now, the moment is gone and I won't get it back. I'll just have to wait for the next moment.

Until then, I'll be in the humvee.

"My heart is numb, has no feeling, so while I'm still healing, just try to have a little patience"

Everybody's Doing It

I'm being peer-pressured.

Okay, so I can totally understand why Facebook is such a great thing. You can find old friends, keep in touch with new friends, chat, blog, evite, yada yada yada. I've already been invited by people I haven't seen or heard from in ages, and I've been given the promotional speech by at least three close friends. But I'm still resisting.

I've thought about all the member services I've joined in order to be connected to people. ICQ was the first, and at the time that was greatest. Everyone was on ICQ, even my father. My friends and I would ICQ each other even when we were sitting side by side in the computer lab. Maybe the "uh-oh!" was a sign.

Then MSN came along. And I thought, why do I need MSN? ICQ works just fine. But as fewer and fewer people logged onto ICQ, I was eventually forced to move on and get an MSN name, just to continue talking to my friends.

I'm proud to say that I never joined Asian Avenue. That would have been a bit too much. I never really understood MySpace either. But I did join Friendster, which was pretty similar in concept to Six Degrees. I still log on from time to time, and I've had some strange guys contact me, which was...interesting. But it seems like the appeal of Friendster is also waning.

So now here's Facebook, yet another portal that asks for my personal info and needs me to come up with a password. Here's what gets me: all the people who have talked to me about Facebook have said the same thing - the other day they found someone (or were found by someone) they haven't talked to in years. They just showed up and started talking. I have nothing against that, it's just that this means anyone and everyone can find you, no matter where you are. I already have a lot of personal information floating around in the flotsam and jetsam of the 'Net. This blog, for example. But I've become quite comfortable in my general anonymity. And I already keep in touch with the people who are most important to me. I figure that if someone from my past really wanted to find me, they'd find me. Or find someone on Facebook who knows where I am.

My overall feeling about this is that someone, somewhere, will inevitably come up with something better. And then a bunch of people will migrate to that, and then everyone else will follow in order to stay trendy and connected. For now, I think I'm going to sit this one out.

"I've been waiting, I've been waiting for this moment all my life, but it's not quite right"

Catch Up

Hey there. Time for a little catch up. Where the heck have I been? Around, I guess. It's been an interesting April. My brothers and I were on our own for two and a half weeks while my parents were on their Mediterranean cruise. If I weren't going to Greece, I would have been so very jealous. But as it turns out, the first thing they did when they got home was grumble about it! Apparently, each land tour was almost a sprint from one place of interest to the next. My mom lost a lot of weight, which I suppose is a good thing but she looked really drained. My fashion-plate aunt was without her suitcase for the entire cruise because the porters in Rome didn't put it on the boat, and after a couple of rounds of The Blame Game the authorities had the audacity to say that it was her fault for not making sure that her luggage was properly loaded into the hold. One of the members of their group had US$400 lifted from him by gypsies (the distraction was a large-breasted woman feeding her baby). My dad thought the pool on the ship was too small and the on-board entertainment was sub-par. Their hotel in London was pretty much a hostel. In the end, the verdict was that my mom didn't want to go on such a long vacation ever again.

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, so many things went wrong within two days of their departure that I thought we would be left stranded on our front lawn by the time they got home. The motherboard of our home computer fried. Two clocks stopped (if I were superstitious I would have been freaking out at this point). A leaky drain in our kitchen sink caused a mini-flood (that I, naturally, had to take care of). My grandfather had a minor panic attack while my aunt and uncle were out, and he couldn't hear a word I said on the phone (his hearing aid can't really pick up electronic voices). I finally had to drive over to my uncle's house in Scarborough to sort it all out. Thankfully, that's was the last of the craziness. The rest of the two weeks went by pretty smoothly.

My birthday was a weird non-event. With my parents gone, it didn't really feel like my birthday. My brothers did take me out for dinner, my parents called me (in the middle of the night, long distance from Turkey, on my dad's cell phone), my middle-school friends put together a hilariously bizarre Amazing Race event for me at the local Ikea, and my university friends took me out for brunch, but it still felt kind of different than in previous years. Oh well, 28 isn't such a big deal anyway.

Some sad news that most of you already know is that my condo has been delayed by eight months. Boo-urns. I've had some time to get over this slight setback. At least I'll be able to save more money. The plan is still in motion.

I think we're up to date now. There have been some thoughts rolling around in my head but I'll put those in a different blog. Life goes on, but it always snows on my birthday.

"On the corner of main street, just tryin' to keep it in line"

The Last Sister

10:40 pm

That was the time at which the nursing home called my dad to tell him that his aunt had died tonight.

We've been waiting for this phone call for about a month. I know that sounds terrible, but it's true. After the first time my great-aunt was rushed to the hospital in late January, it was very clear to everyone that the inevitable was close at hand. She was in bad shape then, and it was only going to get worse. My dad went to see her today. I'm not sure if she knew who he was, because lately she's been unable to recognize anyone. Maybe she didn't even know he was there, because she hasn't been able to open her eyes either. But at least he got to see her.

She was my grandmother's last surviving true sister. It's a complicated story, one that I'm fully intending to write. My family has a really interesting history. I've been thinking quite a bit about that, and about life and death. The idea of writing a story around this experience seemed appropriate. Even as I write this, I'm finding it kind of difficult to articulate my thoughts because there is such a huge backstory.

Right now, my dad is e-mailing the cousins to let them know. I guess the family will be reuniting again soon.

"Far away from the memories of the people who care if I live or die"

Greece is the Word

It was remarkably easier to decide on the vacation spot for 2007 than it was for 2006. That's right, I'm going to Greece! OPA!

For 10 days in May, I'll be island hopping with one of my best friends, soaking in the sun and the culture and possibly the ouzo (oof, my vacations are starting to become alcohol-based...).

The most perplexing thing here is that I'm going to a place where I don't speak the language but I know the alphabet. Alpha, beta, gamma, delta...they represented unknowns and constants and equations back in school. Plus, I only had to deal with them one at a time. Now I have to try and recognize them clustered into words. Oy... (oops, wrong language)

But before the sand and surf, I get to spend some time quality time with the snow! Next week is my long-awaited trip to Mont Tremblant with a friend and a small group of her cohorts. My skis have sat forlornly in the basement for too long!

"Step from the road to the sea to the sky and I do believe what we rely on"

A Good Offence

How does that saying go? "The best defence is a good offence." I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I guess there are people out there who, in the interest of protecting themselves, will be the first to attack someone else. I can't blame them for wanting to avoid being hurt or injured. But it strikes me as something that's a little sad.

I've come to realize that I am not easily offended. People can say things about me, and even say them to my face, and I would just smile and laugh it off. I can only assume that there are two reasons for this:

1) I've got better things to do than to care what other people think of me, or
2) I'm too stupid to realize that someone is insulting me

Maybe it's a mixture of the two. However, this is my question to you, out there in the void:

Why can't we all just get along?

"He said, 'Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non-believers, the plans that they have made?'"

I'm Still Dreaming

Happy new year to y'all. I haven't quite decided if it's been a good start to the year. I have yet to see my credit card bill.

I watched "An Inconvenient Truth" with my cousin during the holidays, which is a really fascinating film and I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it already. I'm so glad Al Gore lightened up. Who knew that he was such a great public speaker? And it completely renewed my conviction that we're all going to die. Not right now, but soon.

There were a couple of things in that film that struck me as sad (well, there were actually many things but these two struck the most). The part in the film where they recapped the 2000 US presidential election in a montage of images was pretty depressing, but there was one scene where you could see Al Gore's facial expression as he conceded defeat. My cousin said, "Somewhere out there, there is an alternate universe where he won." To which I replied, "I want to find it." Okay, so it may not have turned out that much better than it is now, but at this point, I think I'd settle for anything that's even a tiny bit better.

The other sad scene was the polar bear. I'm not going to ruin it for anyone. I just felt so badly for that polar bear.

I've heard more than one person say that they're really happy that it's been so warm and that there's no snow. It makes me want to cry when I hear that. Not that I'm a huge environmentalist (my cousin already puts me to shame). But honestly, I find that it's sort of narrow-minded to think, "Woo hoo, I don't have to shovel this year!" If you don't like the snow that much, why don't you move? Don't you see the bigger picture? Doesn't this weather give you some kind of indication that there's a problem here?

Oops, I'm getting emotional.

And oh yeah. You all know how "White Christmas" is one of my all-time favourites, right? It's a movie that I'll watch every time it's on TV. My first glance through the guide last week gave me the impression that not a single network was going to show it this year, which bummed me out. But at the last minute I found it...playing at midnight on Boxing Day. So sad.

"There's nothing like watching TV all night underground"

Strange and Unusual

"Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am...strange and unusual."
-Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice

Have you ever been passed by a bus? I'm not talking about a Greyhound on the highway. I mean a public transit bus on a local road. Even though you're driving about 65 km/h in a 50 zone. Maniac.

People who know me know about the "effect" my family has on merchant business. Specifically, when we enter a store that is virtually empty, a line will form behind us within minutes. It happens SO often, and it happened again today. I entered a coffee shop where nobody was standing at the counter and a few people were sitting at the tables. The baristas looked a little bored. I ordered my coffee and a slice of cake. After I paid, I looked behind me and, sure enough, a substantial line had formed. I sat down at one of the tables and watched. During the entire time I was eating my cake and drinking my drink, there was a never-ending line of people at the counter. However, by the time I had finished and got up to leave, the line had totally dissipated. Creepy.

"I wish I had a river I could skate away on"

90 Years

To cap off the biggest weekend of the year, my family threw a party for my grandpa's 90th birthday. Now, I believe that this was a "for real" 90th. I've found that, for some reason or another, my ancestors were in the habit of submitting false dates of birth when they immigrated to this country. We celebrated my great-aunt's 90th birthday earlier this year, but we've calculated that she's actually closer to 100. Don't tell anyone.

The planning of this event took on the form of a "mini-wedding". There were arguments about the seating arrangements for 40+ invitees. There was a rather large cake, a game, and parting gifts. An aunt and uncle changed their plane tickets so they could fly back to Toronto from London two days early to make it to the party.

My father put together a scrapbook, featuring all the congratulatory certificates we received from the Governor-General, members of parliament (both federal and provincial), and the mayor. My dad found a photo of my great-grandfather that was taken in Cuba in the early 1900s. I KNOW there must be a good story connected with that. My grandpa met all kinds of interesting people when he was the manager of a prominent hotel in Hong Kong: General Maxwell Taylor, the royal family of Nepal, and who knows who else. There was an old photo of Grandpa with a group of men that my dad couldn't identify. When we showed it to him, he was able to name every single one of them. Memory is a funny thing.

I have a big family on one side, but we're not that close and we don't see each other that often. Every time we get together, in cases such as this, being in a room filled with four generations of my family brings a lot of things into perspective for me. It's like looking backwards and forwards at the same time. I'm often glad that I belong to a culture that holds family in such high regard. Sadly though, my grandpa is the only grandparent I have left, and most of my older relatives have passed on in recent years. I'm afraid that, sooner rather than later, all I'll have left are the photos. And my memory is fuzzy.

"It's times like these you learn to live again"

Sometimes the Woman Doesn't Show Up

My friend is married. I feel strange when I say that aloud to myself. It feels even less real than when I was saying, my friend is going to be married.

Saturday was the big day. Despite our best efforts, it started a little shakily, with a slow hairstylist, unusual traffic patterns, a lost photographer, a pastor who casually mentioned to the groom that Taiwanese brides don't always show up, and a ceremony that began 40 minutes later than it should. But it all worked out in the end. We were even treated to a lesson on relationship statistics and a recitation of a Peanuts cartoon from the wonderful pastor.

After the ceremony, everything was peachy. The luncheon was yummy, the photo session at the greenhouse was fun, the ring bearer kept us entertained, the limo ride was enhanced with champagne, the bar at the reception was open, the speeches were short and funny, and the slideshow was a tearjerker (in a good way).

Someone asked me if this experience fueled any desire to get married myself. I have to say that it hasn't really changed my opinion of it: marriage is a nice thing, but it's not the only thing. I am ridiculously thrilled for my newly married friend. If the same should happen for me, that would be great. Until then, I'm not sweating about it too much. I'll just sit over here with my eyes open, eating my cake.

CONGRATULATIONS, J & M!

"With all of my heart, you know I'll always be right there"

Immi and the Beat Box

After many frustrating experiences of poor timing, I was able to witness Imogen Heap live and on stage last week. She is absolutely the coolest person, and an integral component of my British Phase. For those who aren't familiar with her, you've probably heard her songs on any Zach Braff movie soundtrack or an episode of The OC.

She had two opening acts, one of whom was Kid Beyond, a beatboxer who is FRIGGIN' AMAZING. When you listen to his music, it blows the mind to think that every sound you hear was made using only his mouth and a microphone. This was his first performance in Toronto ever. When he comes back, I HIGHLY recommend experiencing his live act.

"The dust has only just begun to fall, crop circles in the carpet"

Justice is Blinded

My number finally came up, and I got called for jury duty this week. It's not so much "jury duty" as it is "sit-and-wait-for-potential-jury duty". And the general loathing of it is really quite surprising. Everyone at work has told me at one point or another: "Gee, I hope you don't get picked." Other coworkers who experienced the jury selection process last month were telling stories of every excuse they tried on the judge to get out of serving. I got caught up in the whole stigma of it and was apprehensive at first, but right before my first day at the courthouse, I realized I was really looking forward to it. This is the one civic duty we are asked to perform in order to live in this country. Not to mention the fact that this is Law & Order in real life, not that crazy Hollywood version of it. I was so excited.

The first day turned out to be the high point of the week. A few hundred people showed up, we all watched the ridiculous "jury duty is great" propaganda video that was shot sometime in the late 80s-early 90s, and then anyone who had some kind of issue with serving was given the chance to go up and plead their case. A few people got to leave, but most people had to sit down again. Next thing I knew, my panel was called up for a case. We trekked up to the 7th floor (six sets of escalators and a stairwell) and squished into the courtroom. The judge, the lawyers, the accused, the court reporter, everyone was there. After the general details of the case were revealed (robbery and extortion), the registrar pulled our names out of the drum one by one to make up groups of 20. I ended up as the eighth person in the second group. After breaking for lunch, we waited in the jury lounge until we were called in.

I sat there, reading my book (ironically, I was reading "Wicked") when I felt something go into my left eye. Thinking it was an eyelash, I started blinking and gently brushing the corner of my eye with my fingertip. It took a lot longer than usual, and after a while it stopped hurting but it felt like there was still something there. I went to the washroom and looked in the mirror. Not only was my left eye blood red, but I could see that the eyeball itself had swelled, so that when I closed my eyelid it was sort of squeezing my eyeball in the process. Very attractive. I went to see the court officer and she tried to help me flush out my eye. When I came out of the bathroom, my group was getting ready to go to the courtroom! So I grabbed my stuff and tried my best to look normal. I thought, great, they're going to reject me because it looks like my eye is going to fall out. But I had some more waiting to do in an adjacent courtroom, and by the time it was my turn, the court officer said my eye looked a lot better than before.

I was ushered into the room and asked to take the stand. I went through all the steps, right up to the point where I stood and faced the accused. Then the defence laywer challenged me and that was the end of it. I sat down at the back of the courtroom and watched the others go through the same motions.

That was pretty much it. I sat and read for the rest of the week. We were dismissed early most days, but I found it harder and harder to stay awake for the entire time. By noon today, I was in trouble. I had finished my book, but I had failed to bring anything else to read. How was I going to pass the time? I was in the middle of reading an excerpt from the sequel (appropriately titled "Son of a Witch") when they announced the news: we were free for the rest of the day and the rest of the week. Actually, we were free for the next three years. So much for my stint in the justice system.

"Like a fire, don't need water, like a jury, needs a liar"

"Hey George, the ocean called..."

One of the funniest moments of my life occurred last night. My brothers and I decided to go to Red Lobster so that they could attempt to take advanage of an "Endless Shrimp" situation. The process was a sight to behold. Okay, it wasn't like they had a towering stack of refill dishes in front of them. In all, they probably averaged something like 60-70 smallish shrimp each. But the strategies (e.g. "We're using the salad as a base" or "Good thing I'm wearing my loose jeans"), the observations (e.g. "I think the garlic butter has penetrated the lower layers of my skin") and the preparations for the consequences (e.g."I want my tombstone to say 'Death by Shrimp'...that would be so cool") made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to puke before they would.

"They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet, you don't have to drink right now"

Sliding Scale

On a smaller but crazier scale, another plane crashes into another building in NYC today. Significantly less damage and loss of life, to be sure.

Well, what are the odds that I know someone who lives in that building??

I was very emotionally affected by the events of 9/11. But out of the thousands of people who were involved, I didn't know a single one of them. Tonight, I find out that a girl I went to university with was actually in that building when the plane hit it. She saw the falling debris from her window. She was evacuated with the other residents. She stood out in the rain as the emergency crews ran around to contain the fire and treat the injured. She was allowed back into her apartment about half an hour ago. She's okay, which is good to know.

Suddenly, the entire event seems so much bigger to me.

"The streets are in distress, the sun suffocates behind darkened skies"

What is Art?

One of the best things to happen to my city in long time is Nuit Blanche, an entire night devoted to art, displayed in strange and unexpected places. Anyone who knows me knows that I am not an expert or an aficionado. So this night was special to me, in that I could be a little nomadic, open my mind, and explore my city the way I explore other cities. And see if I could stay awake until 7 in the morning.

Walking through a man-made fog, encountering two police officers dancing the tango in the middle of the street, "eventually" finding a secret garden, watching sheep grazing across the dome of the planetarium, eating hot roasted corn, spelling out a name in a block of ice in the middle of a carwash, experiencing the divorce of two gay penguins, observing a woman asleep in a glass display case, discovering galleries I never knew existed.

Unconventional art, to say the least, and perhaps it wasn't that impressive to some. But I liked it all because it's something that I don't get to see every day. Or ever. And it expresses something that can't be expressed any other way.

The best part, which was agreed upon by all the people I was with throughout the night, was that the city was so alive, so full of people roaming around in search of cultural enlightenment. For one night, everyone was the same.

I made it to 3:00 am. Better luck next time.

"We keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change"

In Need of Recovery

Two weeks of not-enough-sleep, far-too-much-excitement, and unbelievably-constant-activity caught up with me yesterday as I schlepped through the day on auto-pilot. I was pretty sure people at work noticed me dozing, and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make it home in one piece. The sad part is that I STILL didn't go to bed early last night. But somehow my energy returned today. I'll have to enjoy it while it lasts...

Another festival come and gone. Highlights? Well, this year it was obvious. But in terms of the films, I have to say that "The Fall" was the most surprising and definitely my favourite. I didn't plan on seeing this one, I just got the chance during one of my theatre shifts. The only person I recognized was the lead character, played by Lee Pace, who was on the series "Wonderfalls", which I loved and as such was inevitably cancelled. It's set in the 1920s, where a movie stuntman falls off a horse and loses the use of his legs. His depression sets in, and he cons a young Eastern European girl with a broken arm to steal some morphine for him. In return, he tells her a story about five heroes who set out together to kill an evil governor. The film was shot in 23 countries and the story has a Wizard of Oz quality, where people from the real world show up in the fantasy world. Very cool cinematography, and the little girl completely steals the show (she kind of looks like Hallie Eisenberg and reminds me of Jonathan Lipnicki but is far less annoying). The rest of the films I saw ("The Last Kiss", "Penelope", "Starter for Ten", and "Paris, je t'aime") all tie for runner-up. To be honest, I loved all of them pretty equally. I kept it light this year, nothing too dark or heavy. That's part of the reason why I chose not to see "The Last King of Scotland" despite all the good things I heard about it and the fact that my favourite actor was in it. African dictators? People getting killed? Sorry, I'll save that for another day.

I was fortunate enough to see "Paris, je t'aime" with my friend who accompanied me in Paris. Seeing all the familiar arrondissements in the 18 short films brought it all back. Man, I miss Paris. But that cemetary still creeps me out. And now I'll always picture Oscar Wilde popping up out of nowhere with relationship advice.

And finally, guess what! It would appear that "Haven" is being released in selected cities in the US. I saw Orlando Bloom on a talk show last week and wondered, what's he doing there? I then discovered that he's promoting a film that I saw at the festival two years ago. I guess some distribution deals take longer than others. If it ends up showing somewhere in Toronto, I would recommend it to you. Like I said in my blog, it's Orlando in a non-pretty-boy role, and the large ensemble cast is quite good. Remember, the jerk chicken is excellent.

"If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

You Are My Sunshine

I am a friggin' starstruck lunatic.

I'm sitting here, still trying to figure out why I'm going out of my mind after meeting the ONE actor at the entire film festival that I really wanted to meet. Okay, it wasn't a "meeting" per se, more like a very brief exchange of slightly coherent words that occurred while he wasn't even looking in my direction. And even now, hours later, I can tell that I'm going to continue to be weirdly excited for days on end.

So I won't go into the whole story, because it's just too long and I'll probably start giggling again (and I just stopped, so I really don't want to get back into that). I'll sort of skip to the end, where I see him leaving in a black SUV and I actually catch myself waving at him like an idiot. I decided to go eat a quick dinner at one of my favourite Thai restaurants a couple of blocks away from the theatre. There I was, sitting by myself in a cafeteria-style eatery, surrounded by dozens of really loud people enjoying their meals and each other's company, and I evaluated my current emotional state. I started off by thinking, what the hell is wrong with me? I was reduced to this quivering, hyperventilating little girl simply by having a two-sentence conversation with a guy I don't know beyond what's written on his fan sites and other online entertainment resources. He is a person, just like I am a person and everyone in the restaurant is a person. How...or why...are we like this when it comes to well-known people? Is it a cultural-societal thing? Or are we genetically predisposed to madness when we come into contact with people we know only through a public medium and not even on a remotely personal level?

I can't lecture anyone about this, since I am clearly inflicted with the same tendency to react strongly towards any and all famous people. I just wish I could control it a little better. Although I am sort of proud of the way I held it together when I was standing six inches away from him. I was so dangerously close to losing it while he was signing my ticket stub. That would have been horrible.

Oh yes, and I've learned something about myself that I would like to share with the rest of the world. Ready? Here it is:

I am a complete sucker for all British accents.

And if you're wondering about the title of the blog, it's a reference to Penelope, one of the three films my favourite actor is starring in at the film festival. As far as I know, right now only one of my loyal readers knows what it means. The rest will just have to watch the movie.

(How's that for subtle marketing?)

"Why'd you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you"

The Favourite Default

My brothers and I have gotten along a lot better now that we're older. Although it's not completely harmonious, it's a far cry from the constant squabbling that used to occur when we were little. At least I can say that we will do things for each other a lot more willingly, but it always prompts a comical "THANKS (insert sibling's name here)! You're the BEST!" kind of comment.

It's become something of a joke that we pit ourselves against one another in this way. The other night, Steve asked me to help him pick out some interview clothes for him. Edmond piped in and said that he could help him out in two seconds: shirt, pants, done. Steve retorted that he wanted me to help because I was his favourite. Since he always calls me his "favourite sister", I laughed and asked, "Your favourite what?" Edmond immediately responded, "You're his favourite default, just like I'm his favourite default." Which is entirely true and which is what makes it so funny. The only sticky point is that I have to hesitate when I say who my "favourite brother" is.

"The road is long, with many a winding turn"

The Loud Demographic

I attended an open house at the volunteer office for the film fest this evening. There were 70 people who signed up to listen to a couple of seminars. The demographic of this group was all over the map: slightly more females than males, ages ranging from young to not-so-young, people representing every nationality on the planet. But of these people, three of them stood out to me: Brown-clothed Woman, Blue-clothed Woman, and White Bandana Woman. They stood out because they were the ones who basically yelled out questions and comments throughout the session, regardless of whether it was question period or not. There was no order, no "raise your hand" as we had been taught time and again. Just random blurting, like "Were you at Cannes last year? I remember your voice!"

At first it struck me as being rude, since occasionally the speaker was still speaking at the time. And a few of the questions were posed just before the speaker was about to cover the topic. But looking a little more closely at these women, I realized a couple of things: a) they were women, and b) they were slightly not-so-young women belonging to different (or maybe similar) ethnic minorities. So their general loudness could be attributed to the fact that they weren't raised in the same culture and society in which I was raised. Or (and this is my scarier conclusion) it could be inherent in the gender. So when I reach the age of not-so-young, I could naturally end up being a loud, obnoxious blurter.

Or perhaps not. Looking around, all of the younger volunteers had no questions whatsoever. Maybe I'll be a member of a silent generation. Not likely, but still just as scary.

"When I grow up I'll be stable, when I grow up I'll turn the tables"

No Time For Observation

It's been such a hectic time, I haven't had a chance to blog about the little things I've noticed or thought about from time to time. Such as:

When I drive down the Gardiner with my windows down, I often get a wonderfully huge whiff of freshly baked cookies when I pass the Mr. Christie plant. Now that there are so many condos being built in that area, I thought at first that these people were so lucky to get that great smell all the time. But then I realized a couple of drawbacks: 1) having to smell that every day could potentially turn people off from cookies, and 2) the water treatment plant is also nearby, and I'm sure on certain days the odours from that place could be extremely potent as well, or at the worst, be mixed together with the cookie smell. That could lead to the possibility of people associating cookies with sewage, or vice versa. And that's just messed up.

My brother and I were driving down a street populated with strip malls, and one of them contained an adult entertainment store with a sign in the window that said "Enter at the rear". And I honestly couldn't help laughing at how well suited that sign could be for a particular business. If you're into that kind of thing.

I was on the subway last night, sitting across from a woman with two young girls: one of them looked to be about six years old, the other was around the age of ten. I didn't pay any attention to what she was saying to them until I noticed that she was talking to the ten year old as though she were an adult. She was discussing life at university, using words like "allocation" and "non-resident". I instantly thought: "That is exactly what I'm going to end up doing to my child." How do I know this? Because I've already done it to other children.

I've finally figured out why I'm so interested and strangely eager to be a volunteer, first with dragonboat racing, and now with the upcoming film festival. I relish being behind the scenes. I want to know what's going on while other things are going on. I love having access to places that the general public can't go simply by wearing a special shirt and flashing a laminated badge. In other words, I am a nosy busybody. And here I thought I was just a nice person.

By the way, the film fest is fast approaching. As a patron for the past 5+ years, I can tell you it's always a good time. Partake if you can! I'll see you there! (You'll recognize me as the one with the laminated badge)

"The original fire has died and gone, but the riot inside moves on"

Makes the Night Come Alive With Freshness

So, if you like piña coladas and getting caught in the rain, as the song goes, then you'll love Puerto Rico, because you'll get plenty of both. Yes friends, I have returned from the Isla de Encanto, a little crisp and slightly injured (long story) but otherwise wishing that I could have stayed longer.

So many stories...but I'll save the "what I did on my summer vacation" version of the story for future cocktail parties. Here are a couple of observations and general conclusions from me:

• Burger King became the landmark for every place we needed to go. Where's our highway exit? When do we get off the bus? Where is the nearest bank? All we had to do was look for the Burger King. Thankfully we never set foot in one.
• The name Steve kept showing up as often as the Burger Kings. The manager of our guesthouse looked so familiar to me when I met him, and then I noticed that he looked exactly like an older version of Steve from "Sex in the City". I learned later on that Esteban (the manager's name) is actually the Spanish version of Steven, which I found hilariously creepy. We also met a fellow tourist named Steve, who was staying at our bed and breakfast, and then later showed up in our kayaking group.
• Speaking of kayaking, anyone who's reading this must go to a bioluminescent bay at least once. The coolness cannot be conveyed in words or photos (because it doesn't show up in regular photos). Sticking your hand in the water and watching the water glow is just amazing.
• A lot of pharmaceutical companies have manufacturing facilities there. Interesting...
• The photo above is the sunrise from the door of our room in Ceiba. The sky is a little hazy, isn't it? The reason is African dust. That's right, it's actually DUST FROM AFRICA.
• I don't think I'll ever be as excited again about alcohol as I was when we were in Casa Bacardi, the world's largest rum distillery. A very lengthy free tour, two free drinks, and so much cheap alcohol that I didn't know where to start. Interesting point: Bacardi 151° is not allowed on airlines because it's flammable. Perhaps the fact that it's 75% alcohol might have something to do with it.

Despite our jam-packed days, there is still a lot that we didn't get to see or do, so I am definitely putting Puerto Rico back on my list of destinations. For now, I just need a little time to recover.

"Don't you see baby, así es perfecto"

Waiting for Laundry

It's finally here...Puerto Rico Eve. My suitcase is open on the floor, it's almost midnight, and I'm waiting for my laundry. My dad has restricted my mom to doing laundry at ten o'clock at night or on weekends, when it's cheaper somehow. Go figure. And it makes packing in advance a little difficult.

So I'm as ready as I'll ever be. My stomach is acting like it does when I'm about to speak in public, which is weird. But I'll take it as a sure sign that I'm excited. Not that I needed a sign or anything.

Almost positive that I haven't forgotten anything.

Remember not to eat the ice cubes.

Hasta luego.

"I can't live, I can't breathe unless you do this with me"

"I know a genuine Panaphonics when I see it"

My brother was browsing through the weekend flyers when he came across an ad for a portable DVD player that was on sale for some ridiculous price, like $20. I asked him what brand it was. He stared at the flyer for several seconds before he said, "It's a Magnasonic". I didn't believe him at first, but it was true. And then I couldn't stop laughing.

I've noticed (as I'm sure you have) that the general number of interesting things that happen to me is reflected pretty accurately in the frequency of my blogging. So yes, May was a surprisingly boring month for me.

And now, all the exciting stuff is happening to people around me. Some people are graduating. Some people are finally getting engaged. Some people have asked me to be a bridesmaid...okay one exciting thing has happened to me.

Anyone have any bridesmaid advice?

"Find yourself a girl and settle down, live a simple life in a quiet town, steady as she goes"

Apparently, I'm "It"

I've been "tagged" by an old friend of mine, Blue Trillium. I don't normally do these things but this one is interesting and relatively short, so I guess I'll give it a shot.

Four Interesting Jobs:
1. A Tim Hortons employee (for two unpaid nights)
2. A Parks & Rec summer volunteer (ach! too many wee ones!)
3. A project engineering co-op, working with sensors for the International Space Station
4. A good-natured coat-rack (that's an on-going gig)

Four Places I've Lived/Stayed:
1. Toronto (forever!)
2. Waterloo (ah, the good old days of one-pot dinners and never-ending landlord disputes)
3. Tours, France (staying with a friend)
4. Copenhagen, Denmark (staying with a different friend)

Four Countries to Visit: (only four??)
1. Spain
2. Guatamala
3. Ireland
4. Fiji

Four Favourite Dishes:
1. Crème brulée
2. Raspberry ______ (fill-in-the-blank)
3. My mom's chicken and rice
4. Scrambled eggs

Four Sites I Visit Daily:
1. Ucomics (need my "Heart of the City" fix ever since they stopped running it in the paper)
2. All of my friends' blogs
3. Environment Canada's Weather Office
4. Google (I'm always looking something up)

Four Things I Will Never Forget:
1. My family
2. My friends
3. All the little people...
4. My life (I hope)

Four Things I Wish I Realized Earlier in Life:
1. Everything always works out in the end, so quit worrying
2. Love hurts
3. Growing old is nothing to be scared of
4. I don't look good with short hair

Four Next Bloggers Tagged:
1. Alderman
2. A Day in the Life of KaRe^BeAr
3. hyc.blog (because you need a new entry)
4. Prove My Hypothesis (because you REALLY need a new entry)

Your Vote Makes A Difference

So, the first installment of "What Do You Think?" here on APG wasn't as overwhelmingly successful as I had hoped. But in the end, the (lone) voice of my audience has spoken, and I'm pleased to announce that:

I'M GOING TO PUERTO RICO!

I'll be going with a couple of good friends for a week in July. I can't wait. Of course, Guatamala was intriguing to me too, but with only a week budgeted for an exotic adventure, I felt it wouldn't be enough time. Especially when I looked more closely and realized that if I'm already in the area, I should also check out Belize, El Salvador, and Honduras. Costa Rica would be fun too, but I've already been there.

So, why Puerto Rico in the first place?

1) I don't plan on lying on a beach at an all-inclusive resort for an entire week;
2) it's small enough that a week would probably cover most of the entire country;
3) it's a US commonwealth, so I don't even need to bring a passport (yet);
4) I get to practice my español;
5) it's low season in July (read: cheap!);
6) I could potentially converse with aliens (Arecibo!).

On the dicey side, it is also hurricane season, but I have a good feeling that everything will work out just fine. Statistically, I bring good weather with me on vacation (last year's Copenhagen experience is my prime example where it was cold and wet before I arrived, brilliantly sunny and unseasonably warm for the three days I was there, and reverted back to cold and wet after I left).

T minus two and a half months and counting.

"Vacation, all I ever wanted, vacation, had to get away"

Carnage

In the past week or so, I've heard four different car accident stories. What is going on here?

1. A week ago Friday, the weather was pretty bad and one of my co-workers was sort of in a rush to get home. She lost control of her car while turning left but luckily only crashed into the guard rail and didn't hit any other cars. She was slightly freaked out, this being her first car accident, and it was lucky that another co-worker was still at the office and was able to go and help her out. Thankfully her weekend wasn't ruined and she was still able to drive to Chicago on Saturday.
2. A friend of mine just started a new job in Hamilton. Since she hasn't found a place to stay in town, she has to commute from Scarborough every day. Monday was her first day at work, and on her way home she was involved in a minor fender-bender. She was the one who rear-ended the guy's van, and she agreed to pay him cash and not get insurance involved, but it was pretty sketchy since the damage to her car and the damage to the guy's back bumper didn't exactly match...
3. I had my corporate orientation on Tuesday. Part of the day's activities was having lunch with upper management. In the middle of lunch, the President's cell phone rang. His wife had just been t-boned at an intersection to the extent that it sounded like her car rolled over. She called him after she called 911, which seemed to indicate that she was okay, but naturally he left the lunch immediately. I heard later on that they took her to the hospital to get her checked out but she was fine.
4. My brother's friend was at our house on Friday to help him get his kart set up. He had parked his little red car on the street so that they would have the whole driveway as well as the garage to work on the kart. Across the street, our neighbour had visitors and they were backing their van out and ended up hitting his car. These little old ladies were about to take off as if nothing had happened, but my brother and his friend came out of the garage (having heard the sound of crunching metal) and chased them down. Everything I know about this incident is hearsay, but our neighbour seemed to insinuate that the whole thing was his fault for parking on the street. I've pretty much lost all respect for her. Her husband was apparently cool about the whole thing and seemed to be embarrassed about the scene she was making. Good thing the damages weren't too costly.

Please friends, take care of yourselves on the road. This is a disturbing trend to me, and I don't want to have to write about anything worse than these incidents.

"I felt the earth on Monday, it moved beneath my feet"

Expensive Habit

The location of my not-so-new-anymore job is right at the edge of suburbia. Far enough that, as I drive home on the highway, I pass a service centre. Everyone knows that service centres exist for people who have poor gas management skills, who are in far too much of a hurry to get their vacation started, or who are too timid to venture off the highway even for a few kilometres to look for a normal gas station. In short, we all know that these places will gouge you silly.

I've been working for about two months now, and I've noticed that every day on my way home, there is a dark green van filling up at the exact same pump at the service centre. First of all, it surprises me greatly that there are people who really use it. If they had just gotten off the highway at the previous exit 500 meters behind them, they would have been staring at a gas station (and it's even the same company). But that van puzzles me the most. Do they really need gas that badly? Are they really that unwilling to fully exit the highway to find a normal gas station? Do they have extra money to burn? Could they give some of that money to me and I'll go get some cheaper gas for them?

I looked over at the station today as I passed and was initially shocked that the pump was vanless (my little story would be ruined!). But then I saw it parked at another pump. I guess even creatures of habit need a little variety.

Before I close off, I wonder how many of you noticed the gigantic photo of the craziest looking condominium on the front page of the Toronto Star today? Well, that thing is going to be my new neighbour. For the record, I'd like to say that I didn't vote for it. I went with the most normal-looking design that would have matched the first three towers. Yeah, it's kind of typical, but it was the one I was the most willing to stare at every day. I have to admit, the "Marilyn" is slightly better than four of the other five designs that were being considered (I would have been pretty peeved if the "Spiderweb" or the "Jenga" buildings had won), and I'm slowly getting used to it. I am extremely curious to see what the floorplans will look like.

"Save your strength, save your wasted time, there's no way that I want you to be left behind"

Science and Progress

I'm still humming various Coldplay tunes in my head. The concert itself was a great contemplative experience. As I sat there in the arena, it occurred to me that there were an inordinate number of flashes coming from the audience. Some of them were really quite blinding, as though they were pointed right at me. It was odd because there really wasn't anything happening at that moment; the stage was empty. But as I kept watching it, it strongly reminded me of watching a thunderstorm from an airplane at night. Looking down, you can see all of the flashes spread out over a huge distance, randomly popping up here and there. And here it was recreated for me with cameras. So natural and artificial at the same time...it was awesome.

The same thing was noted during the slower songs. Maybe a few dozen people whipped out the traditional lighters for "The Scientist", but more people pulled out their cell phones to wave back and forth. Looking out over the audience was like looking up at the stars. I'm starting to see that more and more at the concerts I attend. A strange mix of beauty and technology.

"Homes places we've grown all of us are done for, and we live in a beautiful world"

What Do You Think? - Part 1

Loyal readers, this is the first installment of "What Do You Think?" - the first blog poll featured here on APG. I value everyone's comments about my thoughts, and I think it's about time that I take the opportunity to ask what your thoughts are on certain issues that come to my mind. So, here we go:

If you had the choice to spend one week in one of these two countries, which would you choose and why?

a) Puerto Rico
b) Guatamala

Please write your answers in the Comments section. Thanks in advance to everyone who responds. I look forward to reading your opinions.

"Tropical the island breeze, all of nature wild and free, this is where I long to be, la isla bonita"

Happy SAD

In the past few years, I had been celebrating this day as the annual NoMan event. But the term had always been too biased. On the other hand, NoPerson didn't have the same ring to it either. So I never changed it even though I knew it was not as all-inclusive as it could potentially be. Then I remembered a friend of mine once referred to the day as Singles Awareness Day, which sounded much better and promoted singleness regardless of the demographic you belonged to. Of course, the acronym for this occasion turned out to be SAD, which is quite frankly the most ironic thing I've ever heard.

As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing sad about being single. I know there's no way for me to say this without sounding like I'm trying really hard to convince myself and the rest of the world, but I'm perfectly content to be on my own at this point. There's a whole list of things that I want to experience, and being single simply makes it easier to attempt them. And it's not as though I'm against the idea of being involved with another person. If I happen to find someone with whom I can share my life, then great! I'd be the first person to say "Woo hoo!" (My mother would be the second person) Until then, I've got things to do, places to go, and people to see. So kindly step aside.

Happy SAD to all my fellow singletons.

"I'll stop the world and melt with you, you've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time"

Spectacular Debt

Wow...I'm about to have a Simpsons moment...please bear with me...

Grampa Simpson: "Lay-tex Con-dome. Boy, I'd sure like to live in one of those!"

Okay, while I won't be living in one of those, I will be living in a brand spanking new condo unit in Mississauga.

I'm sure some of you will now be scrolling back through my blog archives, looking for some mention of this in a previous post. But you won't find any. I only started looking for potential units last Tuesday. I made my decision on Thursday, and I was going to make the deal yesterday, but as it turned out, yesterday was the groundbreaking ceremony. My parents and I had no idea, so when we showed up and saw over a hundred people in the presentation centre, we were thinking that this place must be selling like hot cakes (I personally don't know how well hot cakes sell, but suffice it to say, they probably sell very quickly). We wandered in, helped ourselves to the free food and drink, listened to the mayor say a few words (geez, I really hope I'm as lively as she is when I turn 85), and tried to get the attention of a sales rep, but we were informed that it was not a good day to talk business. So we went back today and signed the deal. I swear, it was so quick and painless, I thought I was doing something wrong. Even my dad (who, by the way, is the best real estate agent in the whole world) was slightly surprised and mostly relieved that it all went so smoothly. We even got everything we wanted, including my beloved breakfast bar.

So the first deposit installment is down, the papers are signed, and now all I have to do is pay a visit to a laywer and prepare to shell out money for the next few months until I'm spectacularly in debt for the first time in my life. The closing for this place is October 2007, so I'm going to be excited for quite some time.

What's really great is that I already know what I want for my birthday and Christmas for the next two years.

Stage 2 of Plan B complete. Proceed to Stage 3.

"Homeward bound, I wish I was homeward bound"

The Hills Are Alive...And So Am I

Forget all this balmy, rainy, spring-like weather. I want snow. And lots of it. So since it wouldn't come to me, I went to it. As they say in one of my favourite movies: "Vermont is America's Snow Playground." And they weren't kidding about that.

I spent three awesome days skiing at Jay Peak Resort in Vermont. A guy I knew from university has been organizing this trip annually for about five years. It has ballooned to about 250 people, which made it ridiculously cheap. The cost included bus, accommodation in a condo, three full-day lift tickets, the party on Saturday night, taxes, and a tip for the bus driver. We left town Thursday at about midnight and got to the resort at 9am on Friday morning. I wasn't sure if I'd have the energy to ski for a whole day after not getting much sleep on the bus, but I managed somehow. This was my first time on an actual mountain, and holy crap, I loved it. I was able to stay on the green (read: easy) runs for the whole day and yet not get bored, because there were so many to choose from. My favourite was the glades. Skiing through the trees was awesome, although there was one run with a terrifying drop and then a sharp right turn which, if not executed properly, would allow you to become well acquainted with the forest.

The second day I was slightly braver and took the lift that brought me almost to the top of the peak and into the blue runs. The wind had been kind of bad the day before but they were fierce at the top. It didn't do anything for my confidence as I stared down the easiest blue that was dotted with icy patches. A few of my fellow novice skiiers and I slowly made our way down. We came out relatively unscathed. In the afternoon, we attempted a different blue on the other side of the mountain, where it turned out the wind was even stronger and the run was not just icy, but covered with icy moguls. This time I didn't quite make it down gracefully, but I was okay.

On the third day, we put on our best game faces and took the gondola all the way up to the top. Thankfully, there was absolutely no wind, and we took a fairly easy (but narrow and extremely close to the edge of a cliff) way back to the first blue run again. We were all really surprised at how much easier the blue seemed to be this time. After that, we just took it easy and swooshed down the green glades and easy hills until it was time to go home.

I was pretty proud of myself for getting through the weekend in one piece. Unfortunately, one of my friends was injured to the point that she needed to be taken to the hospital to get stitches for her forehead. This news came to us as we were packing up the bus to go home. We quickly grabbed her stuff and our bus took a detour to the hospital where we waited for her to be patched up. She was a little worn out but everything was fine. After a dinner stop somewhere in Quebec, we ended up arriving back in town at around 2:30am (more than two hours behind the other buses). The interesting (and rather amusing) turn of events came when we got to the border. I suppose the other buses had gone through the same checkpoint and told them there was another bus coming that had a girl with a head wound on it. We barely stopped at the gate when we were waved right through. At that moment, I wished I had bought more stuff at the duty free store.

So, I've covered most of the skiing bits but didn't really get to the social parts of the weekend. It's really hard to compress it all into a readable paragraph that doesn't ramble on and on, but the synopsis is: it was fun. My condo had seven other people in it, and combined with a neighbouring condo we were a party of fifteen. Our group shared the grocery bill and ate pretty well all weekend (steak dinner the first night, Chinese New Year dinner the second night). I got to meet a lot of new people, hang out with a fun crowd, and play with fire. The party on Saturday night had a '90s theme, and it was pretty crazy. Let's just say that I have to get back at the Butabi Brothers sometime in the near future. Damn, I have to get a hold of those photos...

"Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more"

A Lot More "New" Than Expected

Happy New Year to you all.

It's been kind of quiet on my part lately. There was a good reason for it: it's a little hard to talk when you're holding your breath.

For the last month or so, I was being considered for a position in another pharmaceutical company. This was entirely of my own doing, since I went and applied to the job posting. It's a validation specialist position, which is more in line to what I'm interested in doing. I didn't tell anyone (outside of my family) in an effort to avoid jinxing the entire process. The last time I was this excited about a job prospect, I didn't get it, and then afterwards everyone I had told asked if I had gotten it. It was like reliving the disappointment over and over.

It wasn't like I was actively looking for a new job. I just casually glanced around here and there for the past few months. If it weren't for the fact that my current job didn't utilize much of the knowledge and skills I had paid so much to learn in university, I would have stayed there for a long time. There are also some personal perks associated with this new job which helped me with my decision:

1) the company is 15 minutes away from my house,
2) I'll get to work with new products, and the duties are more applicable to my goal of becoming a professional engineer, and
3) despite first appearances, and after doing some calculations, I'll actually be making the slightest bit MORE (per hour) than I am now.

They offered me the position yesterday and I accepted this morning. The only thing left to do was to break the news to my boss and co-workers. There was some degree of surprise, and a little sadness mixed in with the happy from everyone. I will sorely miss this group when I leave in two weeks. One of my co-workers was slightly more distraught over my leaving than the others. Of course, she's the one whose workload will probably double until they hire my replacement, so it's understandable. Even the director of my department expressed his sadness to me personally. I think he's gotten used to my quick responses to his requests.

I've got a few days of recreation scheduled after my last day, and then it's straight to my new place of employment. Onward and upward.

Stage 1 of Plan B complete. Proceed to Stage 2.

"It's like the calm before the storm, you'd better swim"

The Cost of Stupidity

I lost $100 tonight. Not for any particular reason, I just lost it by being stupid and putting $100 in my pocket instead of somewhere else. If it were just my own money, I suppose I would feel stupid enough, but in this particular case:

a) it was a Christmas gift from my uncle, and
b) it was to be split between me and my brothers.

The worst part was that we were at a restaurant, and I got out of my chair only once to get some condiments (we were at a hot pot restaurant). That was near the beginning of the evening. Two hours later, no matter where it was or who it was who picked it up, it was definitely long gone.

Of course, I gave my brothers their money and took the loss myself. Then my mother walks into my room with $100. And now I feel EVEN MORE stupid. Why should she pay for my mistake? It was my own stupid fault. She didn't want to see me so sad, she said. I tried my best to talk her out of it but as anyone with a Chinese mother knows, it's pretty futile to even attempt to argue with them.

So Merry Christmas to whomever it was who scored a hundred dollars on a whim at a shabu shabu restaurant in Markham tonight. People gain from stupidity all the time. Especially from mine.

"You stupid girl, all you had you wasted"

What Were the Odds?

Yesterday, my father was driving in our shiny new car and he got struck by a pedestrian. Honestly. He told me this after I had spent two and a half hours trying to get home from work and somehow it both surprised me and didn't surprise me at the same time. I don't recall if he told me where it happened, but basically some guy was getting his car ticketed across the street and in his mad dash to stop the cop he ran into our driver side mirror and cracked it. The guy stopped at first, but that was mainly because the mirror had physically stopped him. Then he was about to keep running to his car when my dad stopped him and showed him the damage. "Oh, your insurance will cover that," he said. WHAT?? Oh, but that's not even the most infuriating part. The most infuriating part was how much it's going to cost to fix the mirror. Even now, I can't bring myself to repeat the number, it's just too ludicrous.

Today I experienced a new level of frustration as I attempted to get Coldplay tickets yet again. I can't believe that I can say that it was much easier to get eight U2 tickets than it was to get a pair of Coldplay tickets. But, after multiple website crashes and a split second of hesitation, I was finally victorious. Now we play the waiting game...

"...aw, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry Hungry Hippos."

"The sign that I couldn't read, or the light that I couldn't see"

What's Important

After a couple of months, my brother has decided to quit his job as an apprentice at a nameless dealership. There are many things I could say about this place, most of which would probably reveal glaring and blatant violations of general labour laws, but I will refrain. I think most people tend to follow this simple guideline: If your place of work is a hazard to your health, you should find another place of work. My brother has been quite unlucky in his recent choices of employers.

Before his untimely descent into unemployment, he was asked to clean up some of the cars that had been returned after the lease had expired. (Why, you might ask, would he be asked to do this? Because the guy who was supposed to do it was fired and had yet to be replaced) This is where he (and I) discovered what people view as being important. First of all, one of the cars experienced some kind of catastrophic snack disaster, where it appeared that an entire bag of potato chips self-destructed. Under the seat, no less. Actually, he was able to find a good portion of the chips UNDER THE FLOOR MAT. People, I don't know if you value your automobile, even ones that you lease, but for pete's sake, that's just gross.

What else did my brother find in these newly abandoned cars? Loose change was a popular one, not just on the floor but also in the storage compartments in plain sight. He claimed it as his gratuity. But that's not very original. Well, how about a bunch of baby photos? Once again, shoved under the seat. I can understand if, like any parent, they had taken a gazillion photos of the kid and losing one or two shots would probably not be so terrible. But what were they doing wedged under the seat?? My brother didn't comment on the appearance of the child. (Hey, there could be good reasons for these things)

Here's the best one: a woman's wallet. Complete with credit cards, the car's license and registration, and $4 worth of Canadian Tire money. He found it...you guessed it...as he was trying to vacuum under the seat and had to stop because something was blocking the hose. I can't recall if the owner returned to the dealership to claim the wallet, but my brother turned it in anyway...after claiming a $4 finder's fee.

So, next time you have to return something, or leave a location, what should you do?

Lesson of the Day: Keep a close eye on your potato chips; you never know when one of those suckers could go off.

"It's a shame we have to die, my dear, no one's getting out of here alive this time"